During the year of seizures, everything was stressful. Staying home was stressful. Going to church was stressful. Going to social engagements was EXTREMELY stressful.
I was always watching for seizures, all the while smiling and forcing myself to allow her to be a kid. I tried to stay constantly ready to catch her, hating the constant threats around her, but all the while encouraging her to make use of those sweet moments when she felt good to run and play and enjoy life.
Oh yeah, and trying to not lose track of any of the other kids the meantime.
Church functions, family get-togethers, parties... I had begun to dread all of these things. There were too many people, too much uncontrolled activity, too many hazards. It was so exhausting.
I remember one birthday party that was NOT that way, though.
The day was not about Aggie. It was not her birthday. Yet, she was given a perfect gift that day, and in that gift I was also given a chance to breathe and just enjoy her.
They rented a bouncy-house.
A bouncy house! A net to keep her in, and a soft landing all around! I could let her go, let her bounce and FLY to her heart's content! What could a seizure do to her in there?!
I remember her Aggie smile and her hair flipping crazy in the air as she flew.
I remember the other kids playing with her, and her uncle, and nobody acted like she was the poor, sick little girl. She was just a girl, having fun with the others.
Yes, she had seizures that day, like every day that month. I cannot help but notice her sad eyes in this picture. Surely this one was post-seizure and she was tired again.
But I remember that day not for the seizures, but for those beautiful moments of bouncing and flying in safety.
Would that I could make the whole world a bouncy-house.
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