Grace Frees Me

Grace frees me to be the child that I am and to ask my Father for help. (John Kleinig)

What is grace?

Grace: unmerited, unearned, undeserved favor of God.

Grace, given through Jesus Christ, to sinners, even me.

Grace frees me.

Grace frees us.

 Grace frees us to be honest.

I have found that I waste entirely too much energy trying to hide my weaknesses, trying to make myself seem better or holier or stronger than I actually am.

Being honest, brutally honest, is terrifying, and I think it is so terrifying that it would be impossible…but, God:

But God, being rich in mercy, 

because of the great love with which he loved us, 

even when we were dead in our trespasses, 

made us alive together with Christ— 

by grace you have been saved— (Ephesians 2:4-5)

That acceptance I want?  That security I want?

That approval from God? I already have it in Christ.

I am fully known and fully loved. I do not have to hide any more. I do not have to downplay my weaknesses and exaggerate my strengths. I do not have to waste energy contorting my body and my spirit to make myself perfect, or to appear perfect.

And neither do you, dear Christian.

“Our justification does not depend on our piety and our spiritual performance but on Christ and His performance. We can therefore face up to our recurring failure to live as His holy people and people of prayer. In fact, our failure Is meant to teach us to ask for what we lack and receive everything from Christ.”(Grace Upon Grace, Kleinig, p. 39)

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When Jesus says, "Let the little children come," may we hear and know that we are included in that invitation! The little people inside us, the scared children that we try to hide under adult costumes, they are welcome! In God's presence, we are free to be small, dirty, whiney, messy. He welcomes us as we are and takes us on his lap and teaches us to simply BE in his presence, small, and so very loved. 

Praise be to God,

who loves and welcomes children,

who loves and welcomes us.

Amen.

Dear Sin-Sick Soul

Dear sin-sick soul,

soul afraid,

soul staring wide-eyed at death, 
at sin exposed:

You there, with the knees sore and hands dirty from weeding, weeding, always weeding... are you discouraged, when the weeds keep coming back?

but I'm such a big helper!

Do you fear because of the strong ones, the ones that will not give up their roots? You pluck off the top and cover the rest, you smooth down the surface, but you know what is underneath. The roots, growing stronger, too strong for your hands or even your shovel. You fear the day when it breaks through the surface again, where everyone can see.

Stop it.

Just... stop.

You are not the gardener.

You are in the Gardener's care.

It is God who will finish this thing.

Those weeds that seek your destruction, that sin-sickness that threatens to devour you-- it is too much for you. But it is not too much for Him.

Safe in His grace, let His Word diagnose that ugliness, and fear it, fear it so that it will drive you to Him, to help and healing.

Lay down your tools and your crutches, and see the powerlessness of your own two hands.

Be still.

Wait on the Lord with open hands and infested heart.

Wait- and remember who you are.

Who- by grace- you are.

You are a child of God, weak and loved.

You are covered in the perfect forgiveness of Jesus.

Your sins have been answered for with His own blood,

blood that gets down to the deepest roots, destroying evil and growing new life.

Your sin-sickness, your terminal illness is no match for Him.

Jesus came precisely for this: to seek and save the lost-

to seek and save YOU.

It is God who will finish this thing.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you 

will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Phillipians 1:6

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Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

(1 Peter 5)

originally published 5/2014

Aspire to breathe

“I’m good, just busy, you know how it is.”

Yes, I know how it is. The never-ending rush from this thing to the next.  

It’s letting your house go and eating fast food and never stopping to take a breath or read a book so you can keep everyone moving, moving, moving. It’s the American way. Everybody’s doing it.  It’s feeling powerless, like someone else is filling up your calendar.  It’s never going to stop; we will never feel caught up.

Is this how it has to be?  What are we chasing after?

Our culture expects us to plan and schedule Important Things for every waking hour, for ourselves and for our children. But should we?

Imagine for a moment that your “How are you?” and was met not with the usual line about busy-but-good,

But something else, something like:

“I whittled down what’s on my schedule and suddenly I feel like I can breathe again. I have.. Free time. It’s wonderful.”

How would you react if you heard that? I posed this question to a group of women and they replied:

“I think I’d feel jealous.”

“I’d want to know their secret.”

“If I said that, someone would just say to me ‘Oh great, we’ve been looking for volunteers for ____.’”

“I wouldn’t know what to say.”

It is really that weird.  We’d hardly know what to say if someone told us they were NOT busy and had space in their schedule and lives. WHY is it this way, everybody? It has not always been this way in the history of the world. And I’m not convinced it HAS to be, even now.  Consider this with me: could it be that the pace of our lives is suffocating us?

My husband and I have begun to ask this question: Is the benefit of this commitment worth the busyness we feel as a family?  (Or in other words, why are we doing this to ourselves again?)

If we cannot come up with a good enough answer to this question, that’s it. We quit. It’s off the list.

It helps that we have so many children. We learned early on that if we say “yes” to every good thing offered to each child we will be running in too many different directions and the whole thing will come crashing down. We also realize that a “yes” to one thing necessarily means a “no” to something else.  Is that “something else” important? This question must be asked. It is important to receive God’s Word together.  Isn’t it also important to play outside, eat together, interact as a family, and have unstructured time to breathe and imagine and rest?

Imagine a world where we said more things like this:

“I just sat with my kids and enjoyed them today. We didn’t accomplish anything- we were just together.”

What are you doing this weekend?

“We’re sharing a meal with some friends and just spending time together.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing this weekend- there’s nothing scheduled!”

“Nothing much: Breathing in. Receiving from God. Feeding my spirit and resting my body.”

I’m not advocating laziness, but rather, discernment. If I let the expectations of others or the world fill my calendar, it might be full of fun experiences, and I will definitely be busy, but I will almost certainly be neglecting the things that matter.

I’ve been pondering this Scripture:

Love your neighbor and aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands… 2 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Did you catch that? Aspire to live quietly. ASPIRE to live quietly!

Love your neighbor, work with your hands, and live quietly, waiting with joyful expectation for the coming of the Lord.  Receive from your God and live.

It is by the grace of God alone that we are here with beating hearts and breathing lungs.  His grace has called us into fellowship with Him, we are to be set-apart, and to grow in His word.

We pray often that God helps us grow ”in faith towards you and in fervent love towards one another.”

How does He give that help? He feeds our faith with His Word. He teaches us to love by drawing us into community where we spend actual time together, sharing meals and lives together.  These things take time. But do we have the time?

“Aspire to live quietly.” I hear this as an invitation, permission to say no to the things that choke out what matters. Nobody is going to say no for me.

But what does saying yes to this invitation actually look like?  This is something I am really wrestling with, friends. How do we keep the busyness from crowding out what matters?  Share your thoughts with me, please!

Father,

This is a day that You have made- help us rejoice and be glad in it!  May we aspire to receive your good gifts and make good use of the time you have given us here. Grant us wisdom in what we say “yes” to, knowing that every “yes” is a “no” to something else. Help us not get distracted by mindless busyness, but instead say “yes” to those things that are good for our souls and our neighbor, and live confidently and peacefully in your grace. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Hey big head. (Or, How Does the Gospel Affect my To Do List?)

A little body jumps in bed with me, and my day begins. A hug, a sigh, and a Big Question. "Mommy," he looks into my crusty eyes, "when will I get a big head like your big head?"

I laugh and he forgets to press me for an answer. He forgets because another brother is climbing on him with an urgent tattle about the other brother and the remote control. And somebody has bubble gum and it's not even 7am. And why is the dog barking? I try to process all of this, but all I can think about is the coffee I have not yet had. And the Pop-tarts I did not buy.

We are loved, and God is good, but how does this help me order my day? Jesus died for me, but He doesn't promise to call the insurance company for me. And these kids need to eat.

On my table sits a devotional and a Bible, which I have been neglecting, a Sunday School lesson, a hymnal, a book about having “Talks” with big kids, a Consumer Reports Magazine, a newspaper, and our new favorite story about Elephant and Piggie. Which book do I open first? Where do I even start?

What is this day? Is it a puzzle to solve? Is there a hidden Plan of God that I have to discern under all this clutter? If I figure it out, will the day be a happy one? And will I finally feel caught up, good enough, and accepted?

How does the gospel affect my to do list?

I spill coffee on the Piggie book, and that just figures. Someone cries and I growl, and I turn on another cartoon. I am not good enough, not wise enough, not loving enough. I will never be caught up, never be able to satisfy the debt I owe God and others with my own two hands.

But, I am Jesus' and He is mine. He takes my lack and gives me his fullness. He forgives my sin and makes me clean, accepted, and loved. And it is enough. The most important jobs have been done. By grace, my soul is truly caught up, and it is finished.

What is this day? It is not a puzzle to solve. It is a day to live in God's grace, to receive His gifts with thanksgiving. It is a day to let love overflow to my neighbor, whatever neighbor God sends me, with whatever need. I am free to find my identity in Jesus, not in the works of my hands, therefore I am free to give that which my neighbor truly needs.

I no longer need to be frantic. I no longer need to feel the weight of doing all things perfectly, of seeking God, for it is He Who seeks, and Jesus Who finds. I am found, and I am free.

I am free to set aside the pile of books so that I can measure my big head, and his little head, and we can marvel together at the growth God gives.

Jesus gives more than a do-over

I’m a sinner, and Jesus died for me and now God forgives my sins. 

Because He has had mercy, I get eternal life.

That will be great, then. But… now what?

What does this Jesus have to do with the in-between time, the time I am living right now?

What does His sacrifice have to do with my every-day?

Just a do-over?

Now that Jesus has given me His forgiveness, is it time for me to prove to Him how grateful I am? Should I work to make myself worthy?  Must I now strive to return the love He has given me to Him and to others?

In this kind of scenario, Jesus is standing far off, with his arms crossed, evaluating our performance. He has led the way as our example, and now he waits for us to catch up. He has shown us what love is, and now he expects us to get our hearts in the right place and go around loving people like he does.  He waits to see if we will make good use of our second chance. We hear Him asking us, “Are you doing enough? Are you obeying from the heart?  Are you grateful and joyful and eager to serve? Why not?”

If this were my Jesus, I would have quit long ago.

Trying hard, and always getting it right, and looking into the mirror of God’s Law, and failing, again, and again… it’s exhausting. It’s impossible.

No, this is not my Jesus.

My Jesus is kind and compassionate, and He has set me free from the law.

The grace we receive in Jesus is not merely do-over, a clean slate, a chance to get it right this time.   

No, it is much, much more than that. 

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, 

that we should be called children of God! 

And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1)

Grace and more grace

We have been made alive in Christ by grace, without any works on our part.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

And the rest of it? The life we live in Christ after He makes us alive?

That is grace too!

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. (Colossians 2:6-7)

The new life, the faith, the being made alive- these are gifts.

The continuing to live, the growing and abiding- these are gifts too!

Jesus is with us, in us, still pouring himself out for us and serving us, right now, today.  

He is not a God standing far off, waiting for us to measure up.

He is God with us, Emmanuel, and He is present with us to serve and help us.

As we grow up into our faith, (that is, we learn more and more of God's love for us,) we become eager to hear His Word and to receive the good things He has for us.  We do not spend time with God to satisfy His rules, or to get him off our back, but to receive what He provides. He is our good Father and form His hand we receive all good things.

(The Christian's life) is not only memorizing Scripture and having a Bible study; it is letting the person of Jesus Christ take up residence within you, not as a timid house-guest  but as the abundant provider, the bread-winner, the respected head of the household, the host.

He doesn't sit at your table, feeble and frail, waiting for you to feed him by reading your Bible and praying. He stands strong at the head, graciously filling your plate with all that he is. He lavishes us with a godly inheritance.  The riches of the fruit of his Spirit are made available to us in abundant supply. 

(Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman, p. 150)

And so, we pray:

Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest

And let Thy gifts to us be blessed. Amen.

(Note to those of you who are not Lutheran: On Sundays, we go to "Divine Service."  We come to church to receive what God gives. We emphasize what God does for us, not what we do for God. Read more about this here.)

Behind the mask: an angry, needy girl who is NOT fine.

“I taught people around me that I had no needs 

and then I was secretly angry with them for believing me.” 

Grace for the Good Girl, p. 13

This seems to be a problem for “good girls.”

We work hard, we meet needs, we do the job in front of us, and we do it well.

We do it with eager hands and a smile, or we try to, and when we don’t feel like smiling we smile anyway. We get done whatever needs to be done. We are the responsible ones, the strong ones, the ones people come to with their problems. We like this reputation. We love living up to this expectation. We love encouraging, helping, and coming through in a pinch.

We love making peace, putting people at ease, and lifting burdens.

We hate the opposite.

We don’t want to be involved in conflict.

We definitely don’t want to be the ones causing it.

We don’t want people to be uncomfortable or angry or upset about anything. We make peace at all costs.

We especially don’t want people to feel angry or upset at us, so we morph like amoebas to avoid others’ unhappiness.

We don’t like seeing people with burdens that we can’t lift. We pile them on our shoulders.

We don’t like to add to anyone’s burdens. We pretend we have none of our own.

Ever.

We’re fine.

And we’d really like to be fine. We are trying very hard to be fine. We don’t mean to be dishonest… we just really, really don’t want to be anything other than fine. And we hope if we pretend to be fine for just a little longer, we really will be fine.

When we are alone in the dark, we might whisper a prayer to God for help, but if He tries to provide help by sending us an actual person for us to lean on, forget it.

Too uncomfortable.

Too hard.

We don’t want to be a burden.

So we hide. We wear masks. We ache.

We get angry when people don’t realize it, when they believe the masks we wear.

But we don’t know how to take the masks off.

As the author describes,

“Our desire to be the good girl, the good Christian, 

the good wife, and the good mom becomes the number one priority, 

and Jesus isn’t even in the room.” P. 32

Jesus isn't even in the room.

 What does that even mean?

Photo by Shalinee Kohli Murishwar:

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If He were “in the room,” wouldn’t He just be standing shoulder to shoulder with that “good girl” in my head, that perfect version of myself that I never am? Wouldn’t He be standing there with His arms crossed, glaring at me like she does, telling me to do better, to try harder?

Wouldn’t He take her side?

No, He wouldn't. And this makes all the difference.

Jesus has compassion on us.

He opens his hands to tired, tangled “good” girls, and invites us to just come. Rest. Receive.

He sees through our masks right into all the ugliness, and still He says, come.

He takes our failures, our Fs, and our sins and buried them deep in His wounds.

He gives us His own robe of righteousness to wear, and He gives us His A +.

Our stubborn insistence to do it all on our own, in our way, on our strength, begins to be washed away in the flood of His love.

We learn to receive love from Him and from others, and we receive so much more than we give.

It comes down in a shower of grace, and we are refreshed.

Jesus Christ came to save sinners, to pour out his mercy on all people.

He came for you, and He continues to come for you, that you may have life and have it abundantly.

Father,

Forgive us for chasing expectations and guarding our reputations, 

for people pleasing and making ourselves slaves to guilt, 

and for doing even "good" things out of fear, not love.

Our works are filthy rags.

Refresh us with your mercy, and teach us to rest in Your goodness.

Help us to see the ways you care for us, 

in Your Word, 

and through the people you send into our lives.

We dare pray these things because of Jesus alone.

Amen.

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Do you have trouble admitting when you're not "fine?"

Share your thoughts in the comments!

Do you know a friend who is exhausted by being fine all the time? 

Send some encouragement today.

My Weakness/His Strength #2: 'Twas Grace That Showed My Heart Its Need

My husband and I worked in a nursing home while we were in college. 

Doris & Emily

We were partners in the job and in ministry to the elderly people in that home. It was a tough job, but I loved it.  When one of us discovered a resident that needed an extra listening ear or a prayer, the other would double up on the “real” jobs so that could get done. It was in that nursing home that we met Agnes, dear Agnes, who taught us Luther’s evening prayer as we read her devotions to her at night:

Josh & "Grandma" Agnes doing nightly devotions

A young girl in my strength, I bounced around that nursing home meeting all the needs that I could. I loved working with my husband in this way. 

I love being the need-meeter.

But I don't always get to be the need-meeter: