Just Breathe

Just Breathe...

The Christian life is like breathing in 

(pulling into our souls the life-sustaining power of the Spirit)

 and breathing out 

(expending that life-giving power to others). 

The Christian life cannot function without both actions.

--Robert Benne

every facet

“As Christians, we recognize every facet of our day as coming from the hand of God. it all passes through His fingers first, and He uses it to make sure that we lean hard on him.” Sarah Mackenzie

We discussed this quote around the table several weeks ago. Oh, that God would help us see! Every facet of our day- the little things, the big things, the pleasant moments, and the trying circumstances- our heavenly Father is never surprised. EVERY moment is an opportunity to lean on him.  “Yes, even your little brother! God sent him to you so you could lean on Him for patience, or compassion, or self control.”
I myself forget this so often! Today, for example. I had a nice list written on our whiteboard, detailing exactly what we were going to accomplish for school. As we went along, we rearranged one thing for practical reasons; then another to weather a child’s emotional tornado. We conquered math cheerfully, but things got a little hairy during independent time. After library time, I added something to help all of us cope (ice cream) but that squeezed out something else; then another child had an emotional tornado.  So I scratched my favorite (art) and decided to just get the high energy boys OUTSIDE. Of course I wanted to multitask while they played, but I couldn’t find my computer, and I was out of breath getting dinner on before we leave.  Soon I’m panting, waiting at a red light that simply SHOULD NOT BE inflicted on someone who has so much going on.  I’m enraged… at a red light: I have no space in my life for this inconvenience. 
I have forgotten my moments come from the hand of God. I have forgotten who is in control here. I have forgotten how to lean. The quote is worth repeating:

As Christians, we recognize every facet of our day as coming from the hand of God. it all passes through His fingers first, and He uses it to make sure that we lean hard on him. Sarah Mackenzie


God, help us see this! Help us, when our list is rearranged, to lean on You!  When emotional tornados destroy our plans for the day, remind us to lean on you for strength!  Help us remember that You are the Creator and we are mere creatures.  Take into your hands what we have done and what we have left undone. Forgive what is evil, complete what is lacking, and lift the burden of those things that threaten to suffocate.  Into your hands we commend ourselves. our bodies, our souls, and our time. Amen.

quote

"If life is a story, how then shall we live?
It isn’t complicated (just hard).

Take up your life and follow Him. Face trouble. Pursue it. Climb it. Smile at its roar like a tree planted by cool water even when your branches groan, when your golden leaves are stripped and the frost bites deep, even when your grip on this earth is torn loose and you fall among mourning saplings.


Shall we die for ourselves or die for others?
For most of us, the question is rarely posed in our final mortal moment (although there is glory when it is.)  Death is the finish line of the preliminary race. Shall we cross the finish line for ourselves or others?  The choice isn’t waiting for us down the track. The choice is now.


Death is now. The choice is here.


Lay your life down. Your heartbeats cannot be hoarded. Your reservoir of breaths is draining away. You have hands, blister them while you can.  You have bones, make them strain--they can carry nothing in the grave. You have lungs, let them spill with laughter.  With an average life expectancy of 78.2 years in the US (subtracting eight hours a day for sleep), i have around 250,000 conscious hours remaining to me in which I could be smiling or scowling, rejoicing in my life, in this race, in this story, or moaning and complaining about my troubles. I can be giving my fingers, my back, my mind, my words, my breath to my wife and my children and my neighbors, or I can grasp after the vapor and the vanity for myself, dragging my feet, afraid to die and therefore afraid to live. And, like Adam, I will still die in the end.


Living is the same thing as dying. Living well is the same thing as dying for others."

---
"How much of the vineyard can we burn first? How fast can we run? How deeply can we laugh? Can we ever give more than we receive? How much gratitude can we show? How many of the least of these can we touch along the way? How many seeds will we get into the ground before we ourselves are planted?"

N. D. Wilson, Death By Living

I just read this book for the third time and it won't be the last. If you need help directing your eyes and your love up to our gracious giver God and outward to those He sends you, read this book.

Read my full review here.

Things I don't do.

As strange as it sounds, one of the most difficult challenges in my life right now is managing abundance:

Abundant hand-me-downs, toys, and books
Abundant kids and their abundant needs and wants
Abundant friends, emails, events, and new experiences

Add to this a newsfeed that never ends, a constant stream of laundry, and ministry that is never quite done, and you have a woman on the verge of crazy!

Why it is all things seem to demand equal, immediate attention? And why does my brain seem incapable of handling all of those things equally and immediately?

I am not a computer. I cannot help with homework, make dinner, reply to a facebook message, and listen to a piano song all at the same time.  I cannot care equally about the skinned knee and the threat of ISIS and the funny elephant video and the boys' pet cricket and the lady in the hospital.

I am learning, albeit slowly: I believe there are a thousand ways to do this life well... but "do every single possible thing" is just not a realistic option.

As part of my plan to not lose my mind entirely, I've been reading. And I want to share a gem from a book that stopped me in my tracks.

The book is called Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. She was talking about this struggle, and the list making, and the feeling of never catching up, of always feeling the pressure to do everything better. 

The author shared something she learned from a friend:

"she said it's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard, she said, is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about." (54)

We hear "DO EVERYTHING BETTER" when a friend knits or sings something beautiful and we think we could never do that, but maybe we should.

When the kids get dressed with clothes straight from the dryer, we rebuke ourselves with a silent "DO EVERYTHING BETTER."

When we're socializing, we feel like should be cleaning, and when we're cleaning, we feel like we are neglecting relationships. 

If only we could do it all, better.

DO EVERYTHING BETTER is the song we march to when we forget that we are mere mortals.

DO EVERYTHING BETTER sucks the life from our souls.

DO EVERYTHING BETTER makes us do nothing well, especially not those things we were made to do like love and rest and rejoice, and leaves us crying on the floor in a heap of guilty failure.

It is easy, so this author says, to decide what we want our lives to be about. I agree.  I want my life to be about loving my kids and my husband, being loved by God and sharing His love with others.

But what are we willing to NOT DO so that we can do those things?
Because we are mere mortals, with limits that even caffeine cannot overcome, we must ask this question.

What do you do?
What DON'T you do?

What does it look like for YOU to love serve your family and love your neighbor and feed your spirit? We are not in junior high, friends. We don't have to look like everybody else to be liked. There are a million ways to do this life well. What does YOUR list look like? What can you cut out that may be keeping you from the more important things?

Things I do

Feed my Spirit through the Divine Service and devotions

Cook at home

Make quality time with hubs

Read aloud to the kids
Read quietly for the joy of it
Take tons of pictures

Write

Nap when my body tells me to nap

Fellowship with others around the Bible and other good books
Work hard daily at a job I love 

Things I don't do

Scrapbook (I store memories with words, not photos, and never, ever, with fancy borders or decals. I use scissors for opening cheese.)

Make clothes or sew

Clip coupons, bargain hunt (If only Amazon sold groceries!)
Keep my floors perfectly clean (it's much faster to just wear shoes in the house.)

Attend every sporting event (even if my kids are playing.)

Volunteer for every church and school thing offered

Sell my stuff on ebay

Chores kids should do

Spend time with pets

Interior decorating

Blow-dry my hair except on special occasions
Pay attention to my fingernails
Stay up past ten, except on special occasions
Watch TV (with rare exceptions)

As I added in a part-time job this year, some of my favorite things were squeezed out, like gardening, and daily writing. I am still figuring out what I can rearrange and what needs to be put on the chopping block. The goal, however, is to find a livable balance, not to simply do EVERYTHING better.

Do your soul favor today, and add to the list of things you DON'T do to make more space for things that matter.

What's on your chopping block? What do you love, what do you live for, and what do you NOT do?

we shall get in

I watch my children play in Lake Michigan at sunset.  The water looks like it is made of magic; the blues and pinks and golds mix like liquid ribbon.  It's beauty, and it's a play place for the bodies I love best in all the world. The magic drips off their arms as they walk to me, begging me for just five more minutes. I'd like to give them an eternity, and I'd stay with them, right there, on the shores of Lake Michigan.


But we are looking forward to something even better...



Thoughts from CS Lewis (Weight of Glory)


"We want something else which can hardly be put into words--to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it. 

At present we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendours we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumour that it will not always be so. Some day, God willing, we shall get in. "

Nature is mortal; we shall outlive her. When all the suns and nebulae have passed away, each one of you will still be alive. Nature is only the image, the symbol; but it is the symbol Scripture invites me to use. We are summoned to pass in through Nature, beyond her, into that splendour which she fitfully reflects."

earthly spirituality

I'm not above this. Any of it. Not the clutter, not the scrubbing of kitchen floors, not the making of dinner again and again and again.

Life in the Spirit doesn't raise me above these little things.

On spirituality- a quote from John Kleinig:

When I speak of spirituality, I do not envisage something extraordinary-- a superior way of being a Christian that is open only to a religious elite or a more advanced stage in the spiritual life.  I have in mind what is given to every faithful person.  Christian spirituality is, quite simply, following Jesus.  It is the ordinary life of faith in which we receive Baptism, attend the Divine Service, participate in the Holy Supper, read the Scriptures, pray for ourselves and others, resist temptation, and work with Jesus in our given location here on earth.  By our practice of spirituality we are not raised to a higher plane above the normal, everyday, bodily life, but we receive the Holy Spirit from Christ so that we can live in God's presence each day of our lives as we deal with people and work, sin and abuse, inconvenience and heartbreak, trouble and tragedy.  We are not called to become more spiritual by disengaging from our earthly life, but simply to rely on Jesus as we do what is given for us to do, experience what is given for us to experience, and enjoy what is given for us to enjoy.

John Kleinig, Grace Upon Grace, p 23.  (Buy this book!)

Sometimes I wish being Christian meant checking out of everything and finding some nice happy place of inner peace and sunshine.  Sometimes, I wish it meant being above the mundane, earthly, repetitive things I must do to serve my neighbor in this place. But God insists on meeting me here, in this noisy house, in my vocation.  His grace does not call me to escape from life, but equips me, draws me deeper into my work on earth by teaching me to love and serve those around me.


Jesus, be with me today in the noise and the bickering and the headache and the mess.  Equip me to work and play, to love and care for these little bodies and souls.  Point them and me to You for strength and joy today, and teach us to see and rejoice in our daily bread.  Amen.

updated from 6/30/11

ride the wave.

"We are marked men, we who have been baptized and received the Spirit.

"We have upon us the imprint of Jesus.

"If we are privileged to bear the mark of Jesus, the obedient Son, and the mark of the life of the world to come which His Spirit has inscribed upon us, we are privileged also to bear the mark of the Servant. By the power of that Spirit, through whom God has raised Jesus from the dead and will give life to our mortal bodies, these mortal bodies of ours can even now become Servant-bodies-- bodies offered to God as living sacrifices. By the power of that Spirit, things deemed impossible can be ours: we can aspire to Jesus' steady composure in the face of all the flickering malice that bedeviled Him and all the fumbling weakness of His followers that clogged His steps; can aspire to Jesus' spontaneous obedience to the Father's Word and will and His unclouded understanding of that Word and will; dare aspire to Jesus; freedom to love with the lavish and reckless generosity of the Father; dare aspire to His willingness to expend Himself for others--all that made His life the beginning and the pledge of the life of the world to come can be at work in us and through us.

"We can ride the cresting wave of God's purpose which will break upon the shore destined to be our everlasting and delightful home."

--M. Franzmann, Alive with the Spirit

receive what's in front of you

 “What you have made me see,” answered the (sinless) Lady, 

“is as plain as the sky, but I never saw it before.  

Yet it has happened every day.  

One goes to the forest to pick food and already the thought of one fruit rather than another has grown up in one's mind.  Then, it may be, one finds a different fruit and not the fruit one thought of.  One joy was expected and another is given.  

But this I had never noticed before-- that the very moment of the finding there is in the mind a kind of thrusting back, or setting aside.  The picture of the fruit you have not found is still, for a moment, before you.  And if you wished-- if it were possible to wish-- 
you could keep it there.  

You could send your soul after the good you had expected, 
instead of turning it to the good you had got. 

You could refuse the real good; 


you could make the real fruit taste insipid by thinking of the other.”

Lewis, Perelandra, p68

Be church.

It is not we who bulid. [Christ] builds the church. No man builds the church but Christ alone. Whoever is minded to bulid the church is surely well on the way to destroying it; for he will build a temple to idols without wishing or knowing it.  We must confess---he builds.  We must proclaim---he builds.  We must pray to him---that he may build.

We do not know his plan.  We cannot see whether he is building or pulling down.  It may be that the times which by human standards are times of collapse are for him the great times of construction.   It may be that the times which from a human point of view are great times for the church are times when it is pulled down.

It is a great comfort which Christ gives to his church: you confess, preach, bear witness to me and I alone will build where it pleases me. Do not meddle in what is my province.  Do what is given to you to do well and you have done enough. But do it well.  Pay no heed to views and opinions. Don't ask for judgments. Don't always be calculating what will happen. Don't always be on the lookout for another refuge!  Church, stay a church!  But church, confess, confess, confess!  Christ alone is your Lord; from his grace alone can yo ulive as you are. Christ builds.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Ha! Ha! (Book review)

Ha! Ha! Among the Trumpets by Martin H. Franzmann
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book has earned a home among my bedside pile of favorite books of all time.

It will be one I take down often to revisit the powerful, meaty, sasisfying Biblical theology within. I feel like I have found a new best friend!


Ha! Ha! Among the Trumpets
(Martin H. Franzmann, author of Thy Strong Word)

The trumpet of God has sounded--one long, sonorous arabesque of sound which broke upon the midnight air when the angels brought good tidings of great joy to shepherds, and all the hosts of heaven made melody when the glory of the Lord shone round about them, a trumpet call that rose with a swell and a surge as of the sound of many waters to rend the veil of the temple and to shake the earth to open all men’s graces, when our Lord was crucified and rose again. And that trumpet call is for us: “This is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” This trumpet call bids you snuff that Easter air, that air from which our Lord, upon the cross, as swept away all the dank and poisonous vapors of sin, all the miasma of mortality; it beds you scent that eternal air, and stamp that Easter-cloven ground, and to stand in triumph on your graves, and to cry Ha! Ha! (5)

“There is no instant victory here. nothing quick and nothing easy; we cannot just add water and serve. This is blood and sweat and tears. And it goes on as long as this world stands. but we shall learn who our enemy is, and that one will word can stop him. We shall learn who our Lord is, we all learn what our armor is. Our “Get thee gone, Satan!” may be weak and squeaky at first, but we shall learn to speak it with increasing strength. We speak it and ---strange!---in the midst of tumult and shouting and conflict the peace of God which passeth all understanding is ours even there, just there. Amen. (19)

How much need does God have for roundness? Perhaps He can use a few monomaniacs, with jagged edges. how much time is there, let us ask ourselves, for gewgaws, for gimcracks, for all manner of tiddlywinks? We are in God’s last chapter. We are walking between contracting walls of time, and anybody who bears a pack of peripheries is walking down that corridor at his peril We are in God’s last chapter, and nobody knows how close the last sentence (and a sentence it will be) of that chapter is. how much room is there on that page for irrelevant footnotes? (28)

So we are funny-looking figures too, who who inherit John the Baptist's mouth, finger, and voice, as Luther put it. We are odd, misplaced-looking fellows, a curious sort of gentry, as we catch sight of our reflection in the shop windows of the world. Well, who cares? Who cares? So nobody who is anybody thinks we are somebody. Who cares? --- There was somebody who cared, and somebody who cares, if we will enter upon the heritage of John the Baptist, if we will take up John’s finger, John’s mouth, and John’s voice and cry, “Repent!” and point to Christ and call him Lord. (29)

“The cross marks the spot where the disciples failed, and it marks the spot where we all, we theologians, too, must fail. The cross marks the spot where the exegete ceases to be proud of his exegetical niceties, is shaken out of his scholarly serenity, and cries out for his life in terms of the first Beatitude. The cross marks the spot where the systematician sees his system as the instrument which focuses his failure; where the practical theologian realizes that there is only one practical thing to do, and that is to repent and abhor himself in dust and ashes; where the historian leaves his long and sanely balanced view of things and goes desperately mad. The cross marks the spot where we all become beggars--and God becomes King. Amen. (45)


View all my reviews

Commit.

Be not foolish, O my soul, 

and do not let the tumult of your vanity deafen the ear of your heart. 

Be attentive. 

The Word itself calls you to return, 

and with him is a place of unperturbed rest, 

where love is not forsaken unless it first forsakes. 

Behold, these things pass away that others may come to be in their place. 

Thus even this lowest level of unity may be made complete in all its parts. 

"But do I ever pass away?" asks the Word of God. 

Fix your habitation in him. O my soul, commit whatsoever you have to him. 

For at long last you are now becoming tired of deceit. 

Commit to truth whatever you have received from the truth, 

and you will lose nothing. 

What is decayed will flourish again; your diseases will be healed; 

your perishable parts shall be reshaped and renovated, 

and made whole again in you. 

And these perishable things will not carry you with them 

down to where they go when they perish, 

but shall stand and abide, 

and you with them, 

before God, who abides and continues forever.

Confessions, CHAPTER XI

consider this.

To the one who is exhausted
with the struggle of vocation,
trying to please God and others and it's never enough;

To the one
who feels the urgency to work,
and the guilt for the neglected things,
who wishes she could balance it all,
but there's never enough time...

To the one who is afraid
that she's failing those she loves,
that she fails her God.

To the sinner,
the child of God,
overwhelmed with the world,
and your own pathetic attempts to fix it all,
(like me);

Consider our Jesus.
Step away from all the things that will perish, and consider our Rock, our salvation:
God, who died for us, so that we will not perish eternally.

Consider Him who has called us by name.

Consider His passion,
consider His sufficiency,
for you.

Consider, and do not fear.

I have sinned, Lord, and my sins are many and great beyond measure.  

I nevertheless refuse to commit that most atrocious sin whereby I would accuse you--you who testify by words and works and oath to have made satisfaction for my iniquities--of a lie. 

I do not fear my sins because you are my righteousness. 

I do not fear my ignorance because you are my wisdom (1 Cor 1:30). 

I do not fear death because you are my life. 

I do not fear errors because you are my truth (John 14:6). 

I do not fear corruption because you are my resurrection (John 11:25). 

I do not fear the pain of death because you are my joy. 

I do not fear the severity of the judgment because you are my

righteousness.

( Johann Gerhard, Sacred Meditations, p. 35.  

If you are looking for rich, meaty food for your soul, get this book-
the digital version is free online!)

photo credit:just conservative

on being satisfied

Satisfaction:
This word has been on my mind lately. 

God forces me to let go of things that I think keep me happy, satisfied... and deep in the letting-go I find not deprivation but satisfaction, deeper and richer and sweeter than I expected.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses

Psalm 63:1-8

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;

    my soul thirsts for you;

my flesh faints for you,

    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,

    beholding your power and glory. 

Because your steadfast love is better than life,

    my lips will praise you.

 

So I will bless you as long as I live;

    in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,

    and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

when I remember you upon my bed,

    and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

 

for you have been my help,

    and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

 

My soul clings to you;

    your right hand upholds me.

We live under an OPEN heaven. 
Lord, open our hands to receive your mercies!

Psalm 145:14-19

The Lord upholds all who are falling

    and raises up all who are bowed down.

 

The eyes of all look to you,

    and you give them their food in due season.

You open your hand;

    you satisfy the desire of every living thing.

The Lord is righteous in all his ways

    and kind in all his works.

 

The Lord is near to all who call on him,

    to all who call on him in truth.

He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;

    he also hears their cry and saves them.

Father, increase our hunger for that which truly satisfies: for you.

Tend to us, uphold us, refresh us, and feed us Lord. Amen.

Compel me to look up

The grace alone of Christ's words cases aside every lie that hinders and the striving after the wind that so easily entangles. This grace is the promise that Jesus was broken for you, that He did it all in order to save you. This grace it the promise that the weight of the Me ever seeking to drag your chin back down to look inside yourself for answers cannot overcome the antidote of His words, which are constantly and totally true, doubly so because they are outside of you. This grace calls the devil's bluff for you, in your place, replacing it with a voice of guidance shouting out to you over and over again so that you don't have a chance to look down for long, but are compelled to look back up and there to see hte new man, the man who is outside of you, crucified for you, constantly giving you yet more grace alone. ( Broken by Johnathan Fisk, p. 275)

If you haven't read this book yet, I highly recommend that you add it to your summer reading list. (What? I'm not crazy. Theology on the beach is a taste of heaven!)

Our bible study group is finishing it up this week, and it has been a challenging and wonderful study.
This might not be your normal genre, but seriously, read it.

Read my full review here.

Father, in your mercy, compel us to look up,

to behold Jesus.

a heart list

As you know, I love lists. This list by John Bunyan, surprised, convicted, and comforted me all at once. It is good to know I am not the only child of God with a list like this.


I find to this day seven abominations in my heart:
(1) An inclination to unbelief.
(2) Suddenly forgetting the love and mercy that Christ shows us.
(3) A leaning to the works of the Law.
(4) Wanderings and coldness in prayer.
(5) Forgetting to watch for that which I have prayed for.
(6) A tendency to murmur becuase I have no more, and yet a willingness to abuse what I have.
(7) I can do none o fhtose things which God commands me, but my corruptions will thurst themselves upon me so that "When I would do good, evil is present with me."

These things I continually see and feel and am afflicted and oppressed with; yet the wisdom of God orders them for my good.

(1) They make me abhor myself.
(2) They keep me from trusting my heart.
(3) They convince me of the insufficiency of all inherent righteousness.
(4) They show me the necessity of flying ot Jesus.
(5) They press me to pray to God.
(6) They show me the need I have to watch and be sober.
(7) And they provoke me to look to God, through Christ, to help me and carry me thro
ugh this world.

Amen.

---- John Bunyan
(from the Treasury of Daily Prayer.)

Hold my hand!

Laughter

The gigantic secret gift that He gives and we unwrap that we never stop unwrapping--- we who were barren now graced with teh Child who lets us laugh with relief for all eternity.

  There is nothing left to want. There is nothing left to fear: "All fear is but the notion that God's love ends."  And his for you never will. 

So loosen up, because the chains have been loosed, and laugh the laughter of the freed.  

Laugheter-- it's all oxygenated grace.

-- Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift

More important than what I do...

This is of great importance, to watch carefully---now I am so weak--not to overfatigue myself, because then I cannot conribute to the pleasure of others; and a placid face and a gentle tone will make my family more happy than anything else I can do for them.

- Elizabeth T. King

Rest, friend.

For your good, and theirs.