fellowship near the edge.

Full disclosure: I dragged myself there. Before I got in the car I was slumped in a chair, curled in a ball, staring at the wall (or my phone to make the grief gaze a little less obvious to those around me). Everything is so heavy these days; my body itself is heavy, my arms sympathizing with my heavy hard and not wanting to lift to do the things.

But then we gathered

circled up by the light of the Christmas tree

and with the help of ND Wilson

we peered over the edge together

we saw each other, ourselves, and all of God’s spoken people

we saw faces, souls, lives

born to trouble as the sparks fly upward

running along wet concrete

molding souls shaping narratives

grabbing handfuls of wind and pinning them down in scrapbooks

we didn’t invent the narrative

God has been writing this story from the beginning

but we are swept up in it

we are on stage

we are making the sandcastles and facing the dragons

today

with or without His help

we move to the next level of life

even if we haven’t mastered the one we are on

What kind of characters will we be? 

the yearning we feel

is perhaps having too much to love

too much to do

with the sense that we do not have enough time for it all.

we don’t. 

we are trying to catch oiled diamonds as they rain down. 

(Try anyways.)

but if we are here to spend and be spent,

tiredness at the end of the day

is the goal!

if we pour out, we are going to grow weary and break

but manna is new every morning

we will get more (energy, life, days, even flesh.)

we can live generously because we have a generous God

in our soft-lighted room, 

side by side we peered over the edge,

hearing the sound of the dirt thrown on the coffin

and pondering the finish line

and the kindness of an ending

(it is not death to die)

Shall we die for ourselves or die for others?

The choice is now.

A closing prayer to the Author of our stories,

that He would give us our lines

and the courage to scatter the seeds

until our hands are truly empty

and we enter His rest.

May our living be grace to those behind us.

-----

To the author that inspired the discussion, a group of weary mamas in Kentucky who have been renewed by your words in 2020, enter our own stories today with our eyes up and hands ready to blister.  We echo your words right back to you:

"We will live and we will die in Christ, thankful that he placed us downstream in the river of your human grace."

Death by Living, ND Wilson, highly recommended!

quote

"If life is a story, how then shall we live?
It isn’t complicated (just hard).

Take up your life and follow Him. Face trouble. Pursue it. Climb it. Smile at its roar like a tree planted by cool water even when your branches groan, when your golden leaves are stripped and the frost bites deep, even when your grip on this earth is torn loose and you fall among mourning saplings.


Shall we die for ourselves or die for others?
For most of us, the question is rarely posed in our final mortal moment (although there is glory when it is.)  Death is the finish line of the preliminary race. Shall we cross the finish line for ourselves or others?  The choice isn’t waiting for us down the track. The choice is now.


Death is now. The choice is here.


Lay your life down. Your heartbeats cannot be hoarded. Your reservoir of breaths is draining away. You have hands, blister them while you can.  You have bones, make them strain--they can carry nothing in the grave. You have lungs, let them spill with laughter.  With an average life expectancy of 78.2 years in the US (subtracting eight hours a day for sleep), i have around 250,000 conscious hours remaining to me in which I could be smiling or scowling, rejoicing in my life, in this race, in this story, or moaning and complaining about my troubles. I can be giving my fingers, my back, my mind, my words, my breath to my wife and my children and my neighbors, or I can grasp after the vapor and the vanity for myself, dragging my feet, afraid to die and therefore afraid to live. And, like Adam, I will still die in the end.


Living is the same thing as dying. Living well is the same thing as dying for others."

---
"How much of the vineyard can we burn first? How fast can we run? How deeply can we laugh? Can we ever give more than we receive? How much gratitude can we show? How many of the least of these can we touch along the way? How many seeds will we get into the ground before we ourselves are planted?"

N. D. Wilson, Death By Living

I just read this book for the third time and it won't be the last. If you need help directing your eyes and your love up to our gracious giver God and outward to those He sends you, read this book.

Read my full review here.

Dun Cow: Book Review

The Book of the Dun Cow by Walter Wangerin Jr.
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

It's a story about talking animals, and it's a story that put words to some of my deepest griefs, and made brighter the most shining joys of my heart.

This series offers the best kind of escape from reality: it swept me up, tore out my heart, rearranged it, and sent me back to real life aspiring to greater love and deeper wisdom.

"Don't mind mommy, she's just crying over her rooster book." So I said, unable to explain any further. It's all I can do, to close the book and walk away, wiping tears from face, wishing I had a copy for every person I love in this world so I could put it in your hands and plead with you, here, read this book. Seriously, just read it.



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Simply Tuesday

Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World by Emily P. Freeman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

An invitation to those exhausted from the hustle, to sit on the benches of life, and let your soul breathe. Emily P. Freeman has crafted another soul-refreshing book.

A favorite quote, one that I would like to take into my life, and live it out:

"Unless you become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. This day belongs to the Lord. And he has set out craft paper and Play-Doh. This is the day the Lord has made for me to rejoice and be glad in. This is not the day that Emily has made to toil and strive and earn.” 134



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A book to savor, from Anthony Esolen

Reflections on the Christian Life: How Our Story Is God's Story by Anthony Esolen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A book to savor. Highly recommended.

"The danger is that the things will stuff us full, and we will not be hungry for what really satisfies. The danger is that the things will be heaped so high that we will not see the vast homeland beyond. The danger is that the things will so distract us with their racket that we will not hear the still small voice that fairly broke the heart of the prophet Elijah."

"We are too ready to think that Jesus, being God in the flesh, would be protected from suffering, at least until the onset of His Passion and death. The exact reverse is true. Precisely because Jesus was God, He would feel with a keenness we cannot imagine all the wretchedness of sin, the stupidities that wreck our lives, the tearing of the heart at the moment of a loved one’s death, and even the ordinary demands of the feeble body and soul. He was a lone innocent man in a world of sinners, as if He were the only man who could see color in a world of black and white, or the only man who could still hear music beneath a world of shouting, blasphemy, sniggering laughter, idle gossip, sharp-eyed wheedling, and groans. His suffering with us and for us and on account of us began the day He was born."

"He was doing the will of His Father, and opening Himself out in the wound of love."

"Where is the pearl to be found? This is the moment that contains all moments. This is the day that the Lord has made. Look down at your feet, and see what God has placed in your path. Look to your neighbor, and see whom He has sent. Look up at the sky, and see the gleam of His glory."





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Depression: Lookign up from the stubborn darkness

Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Edward T. Welch
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"God sometimes puts his children to bed in the dark."

True enough. But how do we wrap our minds around that? How do we move forward, still in pain, and trust? How is it possible to keep living even in the dark?

This book is an honest, yet gentle help for the depressed spirit. While admitting that there are biological components to depression and encouraging medical treatment for them, this author addresses the spiritual questions and struggles that are often intertwined.

"What depressed people need—what we all need—are daily reminders of spiritual reality. As the truth of Christ is impressed on our hearts, we must offer that to others, and they to us. The target is always Christ and him crucified."

"Etch this in stone: if depression gives you an early warning—and it usually does—bring everything you have to the fight. Take your soul to task. Ask for help. Force feed yourself Scripture and words of hope. Be on guard against self-pity, grumbling, and complaining. And keep the cross close at hand."

This book is a great resource for those who strive to do that very thing.



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Seeing Beauty and Saying Beautifully (Book Recommended)

Seeing Beauty and Saying Beautifully: The Power of Poetic Effort in the Work of George Herbert, George Whitefield, and C. S. Lewis by John Piper
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

To see and to savor and to speak the glories of Christ-
this is the delight, the calling of all Christians!

This effort to say beautifully is, perhaps surprisingly, a way of seeing and savoring the beauty. Piper here demonstrates three masters of the poetic effort in their own arenas. I enjoyed reading this book very much! (It made me want to return to college and take a few more English classes!)

"This is meditation: Getting glimpses of glory in the Bible or in the world and turning those glimpses around and around in your mind, looking and looking."

A quote from each of these greats:

Full of rebellion, I would die,
Or fight, or travail, or denie
That thou hast ought to do with me.
O tame my heart;
It is thy highest art
To captivate strong holds to thee.
(“Nature” by Herbert)

“I will never speak of what is real as though it were imaginary." Whitfield

“A great romance is like a flower whose smell reminds you of something you can’t quite place. . . . I’ve never met Ents or Elves—but the feel of it, the sense of a huge past,
of lowering danger, of heroic tasks achieved by the most apparently
unheroic people, of distance, vastness, strangeness, homeliness (all
blended together) is so exactly what living feels like to me. (Lewis)

See, savor, speak!
May God help us to will and to do this faithful thing, in accordance with our unique gifts!

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Ha! Ha! (Book review)

Ha! Ha! Among the Trumpets by Martin H. Franzmann
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book has earned a home among my bedside pile of favorite books of all time.

It will be one I take down often to revisit the powerful, meaty, sasisfying Biblical theology within. I feel like I have found a new best friend!


Ha! Ha! Among the Trumpets
(Martin H. Franzmann, author of Thy Strong Word)

The trumpet of God has sounded--one long, sonorous arabesque of sound which broke upon the midnight air when the angels brought good tidings of great joy to shepherds, and all the hosts of heaven made melody when the glory of the Lord shone round about them, a trumpet call that rose with a swell and a surge as of the sound of many waters to rend the veil of the temple and to shake the earth to open all men’s graces, when our Lord was crucified and rose again. And that trumpet call is for us: “This is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” This trumpet call bids you snuff that Easter air, that air from which our Lord, upon the cross, as swept away all the dank and poisonous vapors of sin, all the miasma of mortality; it beds you scent that eternal air, and stamp that Easter-cloven ground, and to stand in triumph on your graves, and to cry Ha! Ha! (5)

“There is no instant victory here. nothing quick and nothing easy; we cannot just add water and serve. This is blood and sweat and tears. And it goes on as long as this world stands. but we shall learn who our enemy is, and that one will word can stop him. We shall learn who our Lord is, we all learn what our armor is. Our “Get thee gone, Satan!” may be weak and squeaky at first, but we shall learn to speak it with increasing strength. We speak it and ---strange!---in the midst of tumult and shouting and conflict the peace of God which passeth all understanding is ours even there, just there. Amen. (19)

How much need does God have for roundness? Perhaps He can use a few monomaniacs, with jagged edges. how much time is there, let us ask ourselves, for gewgaws, for gimcracks, for all manner of tiddlywinks? We are in God’s last chapter. We are walking between contracting walls of time, and anybody who bears a pack of peripheries is walking down that corridor at his peril We are in God’s last chapter, and nobody knows how close the last sentence (and a sentence it will be) of that chapter is. how much room is there on that page for irrelevant footnotes? (28)

So we are funny-looking figures too, who who inherit John the Baptist's mouth, finger, and voice, as Luther put it. We are odd, misplaced-looking fellows, a curious sort of gentry, as we catch sight of our reflection in the shop windows of the world. Well, who cares? Who cares? So nobody who is anybody thinks we are somebody. Who cares? --- There was somebody who cared, and somebody who cares, if we will enter upon the heritage of John the Baptist, if we will take up John’s finger, John’s mouth, and John’s voice and cry, “Repent!” and point to Christ and call him Lord. (29)

“The cross marks the spot where the disciples failed, and it marks the spot where we all, we theologians, too, must fail. The cross marks the spot where the exegete ceases to be proud of his exegetical niceties, is shaken out of his scholarly serenity, and cries out for his life in terms of the first Beatitude. The cross marks the spot where the systematician sees his system as the instrument which focuses his failure; where the practical theologian realizes that there is only one practical thing to do, and that is to repent and abhor himself in dust and ashes; where the historian leaves his long and sanely balanced view of things and goes desperately mad. The cross marks the spot where we all become beggars--and God becomes King. Amen. (45)


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One Way Love: Book, recommended

One Way Love: Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World by Tullian Tchividjian
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

4.5 stars
A celebration of God's one-way love, of Jesus' death for sinners, of the good news of the gospel for all. This author understands Law and Gospel and writes to share his joy in the solid assurance we have as Christians in God's unconditional love.

Great read!

“Jesus came to release us from the slavish need to be right, rewarded, regarded, and respected. Because Jesus came to set the captives free, life does not have to be a tireless effort to establish ourselves, justify ourselves, and validate ourselves.” (36)

“If you want to make people mad, preach law. If you want to make them really, really mad, preach grace.” I didn’t know what he meant then, but I do now. The law offends us because it tells us what to do--and most of the time, we hate anyone telling us what to do. But ironically, grace offends us even more, because it tells us that there is nothing we can do, that everything has already been done. And if there is something we hate more than being told what to do, it’s being told that we can’t do anything, that we can’t earn anything--that we are helpless, weak, and needy.” (72)

“Grace generates panic, because it wrestles both control and glory out of our hands. This means that the part of you that gets angry and upset and mean and defensive and slanderous and critical and skeptical and feisty when you hear about God’s one-way love is the very part of you that is still enslaved.” (73)

“I wish I could say I do everything for God’s glory. I can’t. Neither can you. What I can say is Jesus’ blood covers all my efforts to glorify myself. I wish I could say Jesus fully satisfies me. I can’t. Neither can you. What I can say is Jesus fully satisfied God for me.” (94)

“The refrain repeated through this books is that everything we need, we already possess in Christ. This means that the what-if has been taken out of the equation. We can take absurd risks, push harder, go further, and leave it all on the field without fear--and have fun doing so. We can give with reckless abandon, because we no longer need to ensure a return of success, love, meaning, validation, and approval. We can invest freely and forcefully, because we've been freely and forcefully invested in." (188)

“The gospel is not just the diving board off of which we jump into the pool of Christianity… it is the pool that we swim in each and every day.” (JD Greear, quoted on 213)

“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion.” Bennan Manning, (226).

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Book Review: Surprised by Oxford

Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Though truth and falsehood be
Near twins, yet truth a little elder is;
Be busy to seek her; believe me this,
He's not of none, nor worst, that seeks the best.
To adore, or scorn an image, or protest,
May all be bad; doubt wisely; in strange way
To stand inquiring right, is not to stray;
To sleep, or run wrong, is.
(John Donne)

This book was, for me, a return trip to England, and to my own college life, to those times when I studied literature and theology and poetry, when I learned to love and be loved by God. Through her words, I revisited the Bodleian library, the words of the great writers, and the pubs. With the author, I doubted afresh, and learned to love anew.

This book has been a wonderful glimpse into the mind and life of another child of God. The precious glimpses of His work in her and his beauty in the world will stick with me for years to come.

Though this book is over 400 pages long, it was with great sadness that I closed the last page. I console myself with the following thoughts:
- England still exists and perhaps my path will lead back there someday
- Her God is my God, and truth is true even when this book closes. We go forth in joy!

A quick sampling of my favorite quotes:

“Dr. Deveaux stopped and looked at me hard. He leaned in and whispered, 'The rest is all bullshit, Miss Drake. It's as simple as that. Your purpose here in life is to discern the real thing from the bullshit, and then to choose the non-bullshit. Think of the opportunity that God has given you to study as the means by which to attain your own personal bullshit detector. Sometimes that will be particularly difficult, because those who proclaim to know the truth, well intentioned or not, are spewing the most bullshit. But you will know when you have been properly ravished. And then you'll see, how the entire world is eyeball deep in it and that we choose it, and that we choose it every day. But the good news is that, although we struggle with it, there is a way out. Yes, there is a very worthy antidote and option to all the bullshit."

“Pray for her? Doesn’t that sound condescending?” I cringed.
“Condescension is your genre,” Sylvia replied as she passed the snack plate. “Incarnation is His.” (204)

Grace means you get to light your candle on the top rung. So that is what I did for the first time ever, that night. And that is where I have lit it ever since, even when I am tempted not to. (374)

Pride is faith in the idea that God has when he made us. A proud man is conscious of the idea, and aspires to realize it. He does not strive towards a happiness, or comfort which may be irrelevant to God’s idea of him. his success is the idea of God, successfully carried through, and he is in love with his destiny. (Dinesen, as quoted onp. 417)

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I can't help but share two of my favorite pictures from our 2001 trip to Oxford! We shared one month of romance and (theological) wrestling here: it was a little piece of heaven!

The Littlest Prince

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If childhood is health...

This is food to nourish your aged soul, to help it grow healthy and small again.

I read this in one evening, but I will be carrying the ideas with me for some time. I can't wait to read this with my children. I am sure it will inspire many good conversations, and I hope its wisdom will become forever entangled with our lives from here on out.

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The Littlest Prince (free PDF)

Note: For those of you who receive Scholastic Book orders, this book is available for only $1 this month!

Hands Free Mama (Book Review)

Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Thanks to my smartphone, I have everything at my fingertips: I can answer (almost) any question in seconds. I can connect with (almost) anyone I know at any time at all. And thanks to my smartphone, I never, ever, have to be bored again.

And yet, I, like many of you, have a nagging sense that this is a problem. I have a hunch, that connecting with everything and everyone everywhere all the time may actually have consequences for my relationships with those people who sit next to me on the couch, or who cry at my ankles while I “just post this picture real quick,” or who grab my arm when “I just need to reply to this one email, can you just WAIT?”

Rachel Macy Stafford, author of the new book Hands Free Mama is not just writing on a hunch. She writes as a friend, a mother, and a self-described “highly imperfect reformed yeller/hurry upper and recovering tech addict.” Her book is poignant, inspiring, and a must read for this generation, by which I mean anyone who spends a significant part of everyday “plugged in.”

This book is a book about distraction, and a call to everyone (especially mothers) to let go of the things that don’t really matter, so that your hands can be free to grasp what does.

Note on religion: Rachel’s book is sold at the Christianbook store, among other places, but I would not call this a specifically “Christian” book. Some mention is made of “God,” in general, but not Jesus. Rachel is writing to a wider audience in order to strengthen relationships and reorient people’s hearts towards home. Because of this, I place it in the self-help category, and I recommend it as a good, practical book for inspiration to change certain behaviors. However, please note that the Christian concepts of grace and forgiveness in Christ are lacking, as is encouragement to rely on God to truly change a person’s heart.

Personally, I have found this book quite helpful as I reassess the way I spend my hours. I am constantly called upon by my vocation as mother, and this in itself is overwhelming. Yet, how often do I add to that feeling of being overwhelmed simply by staying connected? While facebook might seem like a moment’s escape, and pinterest might promise to offer some fresh inspiration, I must ask myself, do they really? Do I use these tools to better perform my job, or do I let them distract me, overwhelm me, and even frustrate me, to the harm of those very people I claim to love the most?

I’ve read enough of Rachel’s works to know: she understands this struggle. She also struggles with slowing down, connecting, and grasping what matters. After I read her raw stories, and fed on her encouragement, I closed my laptop, looked my child full in the face, and said, “I’m so happy I’m your mommy.”

By sharing her story, Rachel draws the reader in, and urges us to consider our own stories. Will your child remember your lap as a place of welcome? Are you spending your time chasing what matters?

She does not demonize technology, and she wastes no time with this debate. Instead, she asks her reader: what must you do, or you will die?

Think on that for a moment.
What MUST you do, what do you absolutely have to do, or you will consider your life a failure, your days on this earth wasted?
Pin another recipe? “Like” a status? Share a funny ecard?

Or take an extra five minutes at bedtime to hear your child’s heart, to make them feel safe and loved?

As you consider your life in this new year, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Rachel’s book.

See also Rachel’s blog, http://www.handsfreemama.com/


More posts on the perpetual technology struggle, by yours truly:

Mama, Can that wait?
Read, Pray and Hug before you Click
I didn't mean it (Screen Free Week)
Open Arms and Heart (Aggie, naturally hands free)



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Bored? Restless? (A Book Review: Boring by Michael Kelley)

Boring: Finding an Extraordinary God in an Ordinary Life by Michael Kelley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars


There are wonders all around me, and yet I find myself bored, restless. Why is this? Is it simply the hardness of my heart? Can I blame the extra caffeine for my apparent inability to sit with a child, to do a puzzle, to watch the light of learning dance in his eyes? Why, sometimes, do I find myself unable to rejoice in this small thing?

Some days I can write beautifully about motherhood because I can see the beauty in it; in the children God has made, in my hands, being His hands, used to care for them. We make up pretend names, we smile, we pretend and play until the day ends and we are tired but happy.

And yet some days, my soul seems to have grown old. Old and boring. Old and bored. As if the miracle of the soul happening in front of me-- the little boy, sharing cheerfully with the other little boy-- is something I’ve seen a hundred times, something not worth celebrating, something as boring as one little blade of grass in my front yard.

It was on a day like this that I received Michael Kelly’s book. It was good medicine for my soul.

In it, he argues, “We find ourselves bored in life not because of the absence of the extraordinary but because of our paralyzing lack of vision.” (40)

Michael Kelley addresses his newest book to the average person, the one who feels ordinary, small, and perhaps, bored. He implores us to open our eyes, to see God working in and through our lives, in the major life events, in the kitchen, and in the morning commute. His book helps pry those eyes open.

My favorite part of this book is the concept of “chasing donkeys.” The author retells the story of Saul, and points out how God was in control, leading Saul right into His plan, even in the midst of the most mundane even frustrating daily chores, like chasing donkeys. If God works all things for our good (ie, to make us more like Jesus and draw us closer to Him), does this not include the broken dishwasher in my kitchen? The toddler who needs extra attention?

It does, and Kelley encourages me to see my daily chores with God’s ends in view. Marriage, children, finances; all of these can be seen in a new light, and in general, I thought the author’s insights into these specific areas were helpful. His chapter on church, however, I found lacking. Community and service are important elements of church life, but I wish he would have spoken of those without neglecting the most important reason for church: our need for spiritual nourishment, and reception from God through His Word and Sacraments.

----
After reading this book, I find myself more content with my station in life, and filled with wonder at the work of God around me and in me.

Some are called to a radical life, to be a bright star streaking through the sky. Most of us, however, are simply called to shine in our own little corners, living daily acts of faithfulness, loving God, loving neighbor, giving off a slow, steady, dependable light. And as we do this, we are the hands and feet of an extraordinary God who provides for His people.

I recommend this book to the bored, the restless, and those who long for meaning in the mundane.

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

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aching for slowness

It is almost Thanksgiving, almost Advent, almost Christmas, and there is much to do.. yet I ache for slowness, for rest.  

And it seems impossible, because my list-- it is filled to overflowing, filled with good things, important things, works of love to be poured out on those around me. Giving and doing: these things are important, and I cannot cross them off the list simply because I am overwhelmed, because life is moving too fast, because I can't seem to find time to breathe and just be with so much to do.  If only there were a pause button, so that I could freeze moments, stare at them, dwell in them and enjoy them without feeling like I am simply falling more behind.

The list of good things can drive me like a slave if I let it.  It can consume me and break me. And I know from experience that a mama consumed, a mama broken is not able to serve her family with love.

A welcoming home, and a welcoming lap- can I not have both of these things?

Not in my own strength I can't. I only know how to be a goat, to barrel through, and keep my head down and my feet moving. But feet that never stop-- they step on little toes.  And eyes that look only to the next thing to be done-- they miss the beauty of the falling snow, and the gifts of God outpoured day after day after day, from His heavens.


I don't want to stampede through the holidays. I don't want to miss Him.

So here's hoping for some slowness, for some rest. No, more than hoping- here's praying. Join me, won't you?

Father,
The busy season is upon us again, and it is so easy for us to become slaves to the things of this world. Slow down our pace, Lord, even if only for brief moments each day.  Teach us to rest in You, to dwell with you.  Fill our ears with Your Word, open our eyes to Your presence with us.  Jesus, our refuge from sin and death, be also our refuge from busyness and anxiety.  Dwell in our homes, in our families, in our mealtimes, our parties, and our days of travel.  And by Your grace, help us to see you, God with us, and welcome you in faith and love.  Amen





Recommended reading, for those who desire slowness, and rest in Jesus

The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp
Her poetic writing style invites thoughtfulness, rest, and meditation.
Plus, this book includes an optional Jesse tree activity for the children.

The Infant Priest by Chad L. Bird
A collection of powerful poetry and hymns- with vivid (and sometimes shocking) imagery.
I am reading this one slowly and enjoying it thoroughly.

The Sparkle Box

The Sparkle Box by Jill Hardie
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Summary
A child is excited for Christmas and all the toys he will receive. Weeks before Christmas, the boy notices a special sparkly box. His parents do not tell him what is in it. As Christmas approaches, the family performs various acts of kindness. Finally, on Christmas day, the boy is allowed to open the sparkle box. In it are slips of paper detailing those kind acts, and the mother explains, “these are our gifts to Jesus.”

The central message: God delights in our gifts to others, and counts them as gifts to Him. In other words, “as you have done to the least of these, you have done to me.”

Do I recommend this book?
Yes, with certain qualifications. I believe the message is a good one, but must be taught in the context of the full gospel. (We are sinners, saved by grace through Christ, who then learn to give in joyful response to God’s love first received.)

How it could go wrong:
In the book, Jesus is not mentioned until the very end, and then, He is the one receiving the gifts given by the family. If this book is the entire lesson a child receives about Jesus, they will be taught that He is simply someone who expects sacrifice from us, not the One Who made His very life a sacrifice for us.

Further, there is a danger in making lists of good works. If not done carefully, it could lead to self-righteousness, one upmanship, comparing, and all kinds of other problems. Good works ought not to be recorded as if we are trying to keep score.

That said, I do not think either of these errors are intrinsic to the book if it is taught in the proper, Christ-centered context.

Why I like this book:
When the Christmas season comes, I always find myself longing to fight materialism and encourage generosity in my children. And often when I try to do this, I find the children become swept away in the joy of giving, and often, their generosity exceeds my own. I rejoice deeply in this-- this work of God in my children-- and I believe God does as well.

The things I do and teach as a mother help define the word “good” for my children. The sparkle box activity is an excellent opportunity to spell out what is good, what generosity looks like. It encourages the children to see themselves as God’s hands of mercy to the people around them.

My children do not know this, but I have started adding to our own sparkle box. (A cute little box comes with the purchase of this book!) I’ve noted how one child gave sacrificially to a friend in need, and how another simply let his sister have the last piece of garlic bread. I’m watching for acts of kindness both inside and outside this house, and I am getting excited to share these insights with my children.
In this home, the weeks before Christmas will be focused on Jesus: He comes, He seeks, He finds, He dies, He rises, He loves, He protects us. We will bask in His gifts to us and practice receiving His daily help and encouragement in His Word. We will learn and relearn of the new life He has given us, and the ways He helps us overcome sin and love and serve those around us. We will pray that He uses our hands to be a blessing to others, and to glorify Him.

And finally, we will open the sparkle box, and we will rejoice.

In Christ and through Christ, God blesses the works of our hands, our small and imperfect works, and He delights in those works. And (grace upon grace!) He delights in us.

Praise be to Jesus!


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Do you have a favorite Christmas book for children?  

What do you think of the sparkle box idea?

“What happens when God makes art? We do. We happen.” (Book Review: A Million Little Ways)

A Million Little Ways: Uncover the Art You Were Made to Live by Emily P. Freeman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars


God’s grace is multi-colored, says John Kleinig: He gives Himself always through His Word, but also He relates in specific ways to specific people, as we have been created to receive Him. This book celebrates the beauty of those multiple colors, graces, gifts received by God’s children, and then shared with the world through art.

“I don’t believe there is one great thing I was made to do in this world. I believe there is one great God I was made to glorify. And there will be many ways, even a million little ways, I will declare his glory with my life.”

In her new book, Emily P. Freeman gives a gift you will want to receive: she gives herself. She shares her honest struggles and joys in her life as an artist, as a child of God. “What happens when God makes art? We do. We happen.” We are God’s poem, and like God, we create, each in our own way. She walks with her reader through the fear, the glory-grabbing, the sin, the anxiety we feel as we consider what this means for our lives. She entreats the musicians, the bankers, the mothers of this world, helping us all to see our vocations as God’s creative work in and through us.

The message of this book is one I will carry with me. A summary (my words, not hers):

Know who you are, Christian- a child of God, saved by grace, fully known and loved by Him. Live in His presence, and let your dreams and desires hang out in front of Him. Know that He made you, and He will use you to bless the people around you, where you are. You are His poem; His living art. Sink into Him, let Him fill you, and pour yourself out generously for others.

Recommended for everyone.

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Death by Living

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I was given a free copy of this book for purposes of review. All opinions are 100% my own

Death by Living, a book by N.D. Wilson, is a rich experience for the imagination, for soul and mind and spirit.  The writing in this book is so beautiful and powerful that you find yourself wanting to agree with every word.  This can, of course, be dangerous. Let the the reader be advised to carry his brain along with him if he allows his soul to be moved by these words.

I would make one addition to this book, and it is a matter of emphasis. To live in such a generous, poured-out way as the author describes is impossible on our own, if our own hearts are the wells from which we draw. We must abide in another, live with hands open, ready to receive from God.  And we do receive, as the author so beautifully describes, through the daily blessings that surround us. But even more than this, we are told to receive God where He has promised to meet us: In His Word.  This seems to be assumed, and is occasionally demonstrated in this book; yet, it is such an important concept, I think it needs to be stated explicitly.

Life is Meant to Be Spent (so says the subtitle of the book,) and Wilson makes his case not by preaching or argument, but by engulfing the reader in a new way of seeing.  

Through his eyes I saw the floating specks of dust, the cosmos, and my grave, and I was made tiny.  Through his eyes, I saw the thread of grace and of Providence that began at Adam and runs right here to my kitchen table. I saw The Story, the Body given for me, the God who stoops, and who even now, fills my hands and gives me my lines.

Through his eyes, I saw my children, hungry for story, for soul-food, which I am now eager to give.  I saw the wet concrete of today poured out before me, drying quickly.  I saw God’s spoken words, his art, everywhere, and I meditated on His meditations.

He showed me the river, the one I can’t stop from moving, the one that refuses to allow me to put down my anchor. He understands why I gather moments, and knows it is both futile and necessary.

And the finish line: he made me look at that, too.  Though his eyes I saw death’s color over all of life, the threat and the inevitability, the grief, the dust; and I saw the Conqueror and the triumph, and the resurrection.  I heard the whooping and the music from the parade.

Then, Wilson left me back in my kitchen, here in today.  But my vision has been corrected, and his words linger.  Arms in the dishwater, I am living my story, and I can still hear this challenge:

Live fully and loudly; live receiving and giving; live as created, loved art, made by God who gives, God who stoops.  Life for and in and towards Jesus who died and lives for you.  And prepare to die, because you will die. But today, live.

Lord, we flail.  Forgive the lies we tell from purple thrones on TBN. Forgive the lies we tell in shrines. Forgive every attempt at self-redemption, the holy efforts we call our own, all the clawing we call resurrection. Bury us. Take us to helpless dust. Then roll away the stone and call us by our names. Make us all Lazarus. (125)

By His grace, we are the water made wine. We are the dust made flesh made dust made flesh again. We are the whores made brides and the thieves made saints and the killers made apostles. We are the dead made living.

We are His cross. (167)

Bear us home, Jesus, and may our stories in your Story be written well.

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Sober Mercies

Sober Mercies: How Love Caught Up with a Christian Drunk by Heather Harpham Kopp
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

We all have little temptations.
We have certain pet temptations: tiny ones, ones we don't really hate.
They won't land us in jail, and they're normal, if not almost cute. They are temptations we can handle, mostly, and if we give in to them, it's just to a point, just a little.

Imagine your pet temptation, the one you have mostly tamed.
Then, imagine if it got exponentially stronger. Imagine if it collaborated with your biology, your circumstances, and what's left of your sinful nature.

Imagine if that sweet little pet waged all-out war on your soul.

Would you be able to stand?

I don't often imagine these things, to be honest. I know I am a sinner, and I know I am saved by God's grace in Jesus, so why worry about the rest?

And then I read this story of a Christian woman and her struggle with alcoholism. And to be honest, it scared me.

I think I underestimate our enemy. I underestimate the devil and my sinful flesh, and I forget how desperately I need God's grace and help at every moment.

But (praise be to God!) he does give that help, and nothing, not even addiction or any of our little pets-gone-wild, can separate us from his love.


I will refrain from sharing my favorite quotes from the book, because I hope that you will read the entire thing. Please, read it. Whether you have been touched by addiction personally or not, you will find something for you in this book.

This book took my heart and broke it, filled it with compassion and love, and made me rejoice again at the love of God for sinners.

Add this one to your summer reading list.


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Dizzy and Inspired: Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl

Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl: Wide-Eyed Wonder in God's Spoken World by N.D. Wilson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was bored, so I picked up this book.

Now, I am dizzy and inspired. Though I do not normally enjoy stream-of-consciousness writing styles, I loved it in this book. I experienced this book in the fullest sense of the word. I can still feel the spray of the ocean. I can still smell the autumn leaves, and I cannot wait until the final day of raking, when my blisters will start to heal.

This book opened my eyes again to wonder and joy and questions, to worship and awe.

Some of my favorite quotes:

“Imagine a poem written with such enormous three-dimensional words that we had to invent a smaller word to reference each of the big ones; that we had to rewrite the whole thing in shorthand, smashing it into two dimensions, just to talk about it. Or don’t imagine it. Look outside. Human language is our attempt at navigating God’s language; it is us running between the lines of His epic, climbing on the vowels and building houses out of the consonants.”
― N.D. Wilson,

“Do not resent your place in the story. Do not imagine yourself elsewhere. Do not close your eyes and picture a world without thorns, without shadows, without hawks. Change this world. Use your body like a tool meant to be used up, discarded, and replaced. Better every life you touch. We will reach the final chapter. When we have eyes that can stare into the sun, eyes that only squint for the Shenikah, then we will see laughing children pulling cobras by their tails, and hawks and rabbits playing tag.”
― N.D. Wilson

“The world is rated R, and no one is checking IDs. Do not try to make it G by imagining the shadows away. Do not try to hide your children from the world forever, but do not try to pretend there is no danger. Train them. Give them sharp eyes and bellies full of laughter. Make them dangerous. Make them yeast, and when they've grown, they will pollute the shadows.”
― N.D. Wilson

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Part of me made an Overly Ambitious Reading List, while the other part of me is making fun of her.

After screen-free week, I am determined to carve out some technology-free time this summer.
I want to make reading a priority.



Well, part of me does. Part of me is making big plans, setting goals and gathering ideas and making lists.  Part of me is looking forward to summer. Part of me thinks I will actually finished the unabridged version of Les Miserables AND read several chapter books to the children. Part of me can't wait to potty train the 2 1/2 year-old, give drawing lessons to the 7 year-old, help the 8 year-old run her cleaning business, learn how to bind books with the 10 year-old, work on fair projects, tend to my garden, etc etc...

The other part of me is laughing-
you can't even keep your house clean? Why bother coming up with all this other stuff?

Our summer routines will be decided by the winner of the wrestling match between my two selves.

Or, more likely, my two selves will take turns being in charge, and we will all live in confusion.
So basically, summer will be normal.

But part of me is still hopeful that "normal"includes lots of reading this summer.
So I thought I'd share my reading lists with you.

My overly ambitious reading lists

To Read (All by myself, preferably in a lawn chair while I soak my feet in cold water)
To-Read to kids (chapter books)

Need more ideas for your lists?
Books I love (you can browse by category)
Pictures Books we love
Children's Chapter Books We Love

Can we read them ALL?

What's on your reading list?