"Kids! It's not polite to beg for three cookies when someone gives you two!"
"Don't hit him with the shovel! Take turns!"
"I understand that you like that bike too, but what is the KIND thing do right now? Will you share with your brother? Wait, no, don't hit him! SHARE!"
Sigh.
They fight like these guys:
It's hard to teach kids to be kind to each other, isn't it? We teach, we discipline, we tell them all about starving children in Africa, and still, they refuse to get their fat, greedy hand out of the cracker box so little brother can have some.
Why is this so hard?
The short answer: Sin. We know this. They are selfish little sinners like we are. We might not tackle our friends to get the last Oreo, but we do find our hearts angrily complaining when nap time ends early. (This time is MINE! Just turn on the TV or something and go away!)
Imagine what would happen if then you heard a sweet voice, gently prodding, "Now, Emily, what's the kind thing to do right now? Do you think you could share your time with the kids who need it, hmmmm?"
I don't think I would respond favorably.
It's hard to teach children to love.
It's almost as hard as loving them.
Yet, we are new creations. We are sinners, to be sure, but we are also righteous. We are redeemed, rescued, and He is making us new. We have been given all things necessary for life and godliness, including love, joy, patience, and kindness. We are loved by a God who pours these things out on us richly and daily, requiring nothing of us but that we come to Him with open hands and humble hearts.
A focus on kindness
They got louder, and more excited,
“Ok, kids, all we are going to do is make our list today.”
We started kindness week on a Sunday.
Before we went to church, I asked the kids to pay attention to the
gifts God gives there. When we came home, we made a list: “Forgiveness, grace,
Jesus, church family, soft hearts, faith, crackers at Sunday school, friends, Baptism, His Word,
pastors, songs....”
The results were interesting.
Two of my kids were eager to give to strangers.
Two were shy, but they did it anyway.
One hid by me the entire time.
One just ate the cookies I brought for them. But that one is just a baby, so that was fine with me.
The reaction was also interesting.
"Are you sure you're not selling these, little girl?" someone said.
A few strange looks.
One mother, "Excuse me, my son got one but not my daughter. Do you have any more?"
Me, encouraging all the little kids to ask their parents first if they could have them.
A few surprised and touched.
I realized the thought of allergies never occurred to me. Oops.
Next time, I will choose something less controversial.
I'll buy a big roll of stickers.
I won't pretend this week changed our hearts completely. They fought in the van on the way home from our kind trip to town. They still fight over crackers.
But they want to do it again. They loved giving even more than I thought they would. They have been noticing and doing several unplanned acts of kindness since that week.
They have even found new ways to be kind to me:
"Don't hit him with the shovel! Take turns!"
"I understand that you like that bike too, but what is the KIND thing do right now? Will you share with your brother? Wait, no, don't hit him! SHARE!"
Sigh.
They fight like these guys:
It's hard to teach kids to be kind to each other, isn't it? We teach, we discipline, we tell them all about starving children in Africa, and still, they refuse to get their fat, greedy hand out of the cracker box so little brother can have some.
Why is this so hard?
The short answer: Sin. We know this. They are selfish little sinners like we are. We might not tackle our friends to get the last Oreo, but we do find our hearts angrily complaining when nap time ends early. (This time is MINE! Just turn on the TV or something and go away!)
Imagine what would happen if then you heard a sweet voice, gently prodding, "Now, Emily, what's the kind thing to do right now? Do you think you could share your time with the kids who need it, hmmmm?"
I don't think I would respond favorably.
It's hard to teach children to love.
It's almost as hard as loving them.
Yet, we are new creations. We are sinners, to be sure, but we are also righteous. We are redeemed, rescued, and He is making us new. We have been given all things necessary for life and godliness, including love, joy, patience, and kindness. We are loved by a God who pours these things out on us richly and daily, requiring nothing of us but that we come to Him with open hands and humble hearts.
We are blessed, and so we can bless.
God is kind, and His kindness makes us kind.
A focus on kindness
I've had this on my mind lately, this issue of kindness, of receiving it and giving it.
It has been mixing around in my head, along with Scripture and this book and that book and this book and a blog post and more Scripture.
I kneaded it around in my head, and let it rise for awhile, and then finally, I was ready to try it.
At least, I thought I was.
At least, I thought I was.
The crazy idea: Kindness day
One day I said:
“Hey kids, you know how we talked about
being kind to others? Let’s plan a day of kindness, where we can do special
things for some of the people that we know.” Kindness to those outside one's own home tends to be easier, so I thought that would be a good place to start.
“Who do you think we should put on our list?” I asked.
They were inspired.
“My teacher!"
"Grandma! Grandpa!"
"All of our cousins!”
“My teacher!"
"Grandma! Grandpa!"
"All of our cousins!”
They got louder, and more excited,
"My
friend at school-
ALL of my friends at school!"
"Our neighbors!"
"Their neighbors,
too!"
"Our dog!"
"Our church family!"
"Our family in Michigan!"
"Can we make cookies for everybody?"
I couldn’t write fast enough. After two
minutes of this enthusiastic shouting, I was overwhelmed.
“Ok, kids, all we are going to do is make our list today.”
I needed to do some more thinking.
(and I needed to hide in a quiet room for a few minutes.)
I did not want to chop up their list
just because I was feeling overwhelmed. However, we simply couldn’t do
something kind for every single person in the world.
How are
we going to do this?
Well, what do I want them to learn from this?
I worked on my own list.
I
want them to practice kindness to others.
I want them to learn to plan to be kind.
I want them to keep their eyes open
for opportunities to give spontaneously, too.
Do I want
them to end this week with a long list of their own good deeds?
Hmmm. Not exactly.
I want them to learn how to give as children of God,
not
keeping score,
but freely, out of the abundance they have in Christ.
Yes, that sounds good.
Ok then,
Perhaps I
should point their eyes to Him first.
First, we receive.
We started kindness week on a Sunday.
Before we went to church, I asked the kids to pay attention to the
gifts God gives there. When we came home, we made a list: “Forgiveness, grace,
Jesus, church family, soft hearts, faith, crackers at Sunday school, friends, Baptism, His Word,
pastors, songs....”
We wrote those words on blue water drops
and hung them up. They poured down the wall into a cup labeled “Grace.” We added to the list of God’s gifts to us
throughout the week.
We watched as God filled our cup.
With full hands and full hearts, we were ready to move on to the next step.
Then, we give.
We talked about ways that we could let God's gifts “spill over” onto other people. We got out the list again. We
made plans. I trimmed the list, but only a little. We stretched kindness day
into kindness week. I simplified where I could (brownies instead of cookies,
notes instead of craft projects, and so forth.)
Each day at the breakfast table, we prayed:
Open my eyes to see Your kind gifts to
me today.
Show me ways that I can be kind to others.
Bless me today, and make
me a blessing to those around me. In Jesus name and by His power, Amen.
We kept track: gifts received, gifts
given.
Record-keeping led to praise, and praise
led to more giving.
It was so fun, I think we will do it again this summer.
“From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.”
John 1:16
CLICK HERE for an easy guide
planning your own kindness week!
It's simple.
I promise.
I would not have been able to handle it otherwise.
How did it go?
CLICK HERE for an easy guide
planning your own kindness week!
It's simple.
I promise.
I would not have been able to handle it otherwise.
How did it go?
Here are a few of the things we did.
On Monday, we made special notes for daddy and the kids made pictures for each other.
We picked flowers for our neighbor.
We baked bread for all of the teachers:
The kids decorated lovely lunch bags for the bread, and they carried them to school the next day. The teachers were surprised, and touched.
We made brownies for each child's class. (I decided brownies were much easier than cookies.)
Brownies for everyone- just because!
On Saturday, we focused on giving to strangers.
Of their own accord, the girls also chose to give away the new dolls they had just purchased with their own money. Two little girls were very appreciative. This mama was in awe.
We brought individually wrapped oreos to a local playground.
I encouraged the kids to give them away.
Two of my kids were eager to give to strangers.
Two were shy, but they did it anyway.
One hid by me the entire time.
One just ate the cookies I brought for them. But that one is just a baby, so that was fine with me.
The reaction was also interesting.
"Are you sure you're not selling these, little girl?" someone said.
A few strange looks.
One mother, "Excuse me, my son got one but not my daughter. Do you have any more?"
Me, encouraging all the little kids to ask their parents first if they could have them.
A few surprised and touched.
I realized the thought of allergies never occurred to me. Oops.
Next time, I will choose something less controversial.
I'll buy a big roll of stickers.
I won't pretend this week changed our hearts completely. They fought in the van on the way home from our kind trip to town. They still fight over crackers.
But they want to do it again. They loved giving even more than I thought they would. They have been noticing and doing several unplanned acts of kindness since that week.
They have even found new ways to be kind to me:
So daughter, what did you learn from kindness week?
"It's fun to be kind.
And it makes you happy when you make someone else happy."
Great. I'll take it.
--------------------------
What do you think about kindness week?
What other ideas do you have for teaching kindness to children?
I'd love to hear from you!
Don't forget to get your quick guide to Kindness Week!