every day, serenity

 Every day I want a little more time,

the school things fill all the moments

and how is it that time already, I thought we would be further along by now! 

and the frantic self starts to fuss and demand,

drinking coffee and willing all of us to move faster, work harder, 

to do all the things.

But these days, I am telling the harried mom in me to chill out, 
every day,
because frantic is not the kind of mom these children need,
not on this day, not this year.

Every day, I want a little more perspective, 
I want more wisdom as I learn
how to triage a list
how to move things to autopilot
how to become content with human limitations
how to maintain a gentle spirit in the midst of the noise and the pulling
how to be a servant without being a ping pong ball
how to be a manager without being a drill sergeant
how to take care of my own self
how to keep my eyes up, to notice the goodness and beauty that rain on me in generous showers every single day; 
how to catch some drops and savor them deeply

Every day, I want a little more serenity,
a little more trust that there will be manna in the wilderness
even the wilderness of a homeschool year, 
or a heavy question,
or a divided and angry country.

Every day,
I am weighed down with my self,
and this broken world,
and yet I am shepherded, gently, 
by the hand of a gracious God.

God grant me, every day, a little more Jesus.