Hey good lookin’ -- Thoughts on spiritual playacting

Grace frees me to be the child I am and to ask my Father for help. Grace changes things. As Kleinig explains,

“With that request for help comes an end to our playacting before the imagined audience of God and the people around us. (Grace Upon Grace, Kleinig, p. 39)

photo credit

When you put it that way, it sounds so silly:
“playacting before the imagined audience of God and the people around us.”



Playacting, like "the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others." (Matthew 6:5)


I picture the Pharisees belting out holy-sounding words in the streets. I picture the muscle man strutting his stuff at the beach. I picture overly-dramatic stage voices and lots of makeup.


I barely even wear makeup. 


And yet, I have had to ask myself, do I playact? Do I perform?  Do I make myself look as good as I can for people around me and for God?
Do I play the part so well that I actually believe it?

I never thought I did. 
(but God…)

I’m a good girl. As a kid, I got good grades and I generally did what adults asked me to. I was not a “partier” (haughty sniff) or a “slacker” (eye roll).
I was a people-pleaser. (Ok, I am. His work is in progress.)

I like to be liked, and I am good at making people like me, especially if they give me clear rules I can follow.
I like to know the right thing, to do the right thing, and (best of all) to be SEEN doing the right thing.

And I bring my shiny little self proudly into church and I find myself wrecked. Exposed. Naked.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37)

Wait, love?

Love?
Not get good grades and gather people’s respect?
Not avoid guilt or criticism?
And the Law opens my eyes and I see, even this “good girl” sees: Even my best works are tainted with selfishness. My works are filthy rags.
The good that I have done I have done out of fear and approval addiction, and other selfish motives. And many times, I have neglected to do what I ought to do because I fear people more than I fear God.

I was HORRIFIED when I first realized this. I could hardly believe it. It called into question everything I knew about myself.
Most tellingly of all: it made me question my status with God.

I was exposed. Unworthy, and deceived. I had believed the part I was playing: the good girl, earning His love and worthy of it. I believed the lie I told.

What is left, without the lie, when our hearts are exposed and we are undone?

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 6:23

The basic truth of the gospel, given to sinners like me (and you.) It is NOT of works. You must know this as you delve into God’s Word. God WILL expose the selfishness of your heart, even in the best things that you do. His Law is much higher than we realize, His love much deeper and stronger than our weak imitations.

When you see this and feel it, when you are exposed and naked, do not run from him! Run to Him, the one who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for YOU.

He sees through the playacting. He always has. And yet, He loves you.

Do you play the part of the good person for the people around you and for God?

Has your act ever been exposed?  

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Like this topic? Read this book: Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try-Hard Life. In fact, I'll be blogging about this more in September. I'd love it if you would read along with me. (Local moms- this is our next book! I can't wait to read it with you!)


Read more: My Weakness/His Strength