still waiting for spring...

Last year at this time, farmers planted corn, and one farmer planted his son.

One year later, we see no signs of his new life, 

but we have not forgotten the Promise.

Jesus said, 

“I am the resurrection and the life. 

He who believes in me will live,even though he dies."

 John 11:25

Please remember Alan's family and friends as you pray this week.
May God uphold them in their grief and waiting.  




Of mothers and sons (reposted from 4.12.11)


The officer came to our door early sunday morning.
Oh no, not my son, fearing that vacation had ended in tragedy
The name given. Relief.  Not my son.   
But someone's son.  Guilt, compassion, sadness

Yesterday, kids in bed, parents enjoying the last quiet of the night,
but things went from awful to worse in that hospital room
and Pastor was called back.

Alone in quiet,
I rocked my youngest son, 
thinking about the mother who once rocked hers, 
who watched him bloom, 
whose ears heard the name of her son from the officer.

I laid the baby down, and sat in the chair staring through tears,
thinking of dark hospital rooms.  Afraid, sad.
Another son walked down the hall.  He complained of dragons.  Afraid, sad.

Afraid and sad we went to bed, 
his little head not quite filling daddy's place on the pillow
his little voice asking why daddy went in the night to "be with the sad family."

He curled up close, beating heart, breathing life.
not knowing why tonight mommy hugged him so tight, 
held his hand, welcomed him close.

Oh Lord, how much longer must we stay here, 
in this world of fragile mothers and sons?

More posts in memory of Alan, on grief, suffering, hope, and community:



On faith and sight Our God does not require the ridiculous of us: He does not ask that we suffer and pretend that we are not suffering


How are you doing?  (What I am really asking...) Do you know how often I think of you, pray for you? How do you stand after such a great grief, because I am on the outside and my knees are weak and I question and cry for you... so just how are you doing it?


Together in grief
How can we not feel this way, we who are learning to love each other as Jesus has loved us?
And I wonder, would we have signed up for this had we known it was going to be so painful?


On being loved in the waiting room
 In the waiting room myself, I did not know to ask for this help, but I received it and was blessed.  This is how I would have asked had I known how to do so.


(Some of these words make think of Kristie, too. I hope that she continues to feel the army of support behind her as she fights cancer. If you missed her story, please read it here.)