How did this guy...
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Turn into this guy?
A few hard knocks, army, factory, marriage, babies. In short, he grew up.
He will never be a conventional 9 to 5 worker. He enjoys the freedom of being self-employed. He is a successful businessman.
(Plus, he had two awesome daughters. Yep, that's my dad!)
His advice:
I think you have to work extra hard to help him first discover his passion for whatever, music,science, cars, (probably not girls though, he won't need your help there too much) then the challenge is to teach him the dedication it takes to really achieve.
This is where the pushy parent is most useful, pointing out the not so obvious skills that he might have to develop and why it's important to, for ex; study math when he wants to buy a bar...
I'd push, demand, hold him to a higher standard than he would like.
Don't let him be too comfortable where he can coast and get by.
He'll hate it, you'll hate it and it will all turn out good.
He'll be grateful and you'll be proud.
That's the plan, anyway.
Preach it, dad.
I think it's so wonderful that your Dad is involved in your children's lives. I am blessed in the same way. My children will grow up learning and knowing their grandparents. That's special.
ReplyDeletewe do live six hours from grandparents :( It is hard to keep in touch, but we try! Actually, this post series was inspired by my daughter's school project - she had to interview grandpa, and I just kept the interview going!
DeleteSorry I can't give you any advice, just want to say that I think your dad's right on...your sister too. I was a slacker only doing just enough to get by. My mom knew I could do better I even knew I could do better, but why I didn't care I'll never know. I just assume I was (and am still!) just lazy and didn't see the point.
ReplyDeleteNow, if it was something I cared about I would work harder or at least want to work harder. But as your dad said "he'll get it eventually". I get it now. And boy I wish I had gotten it much sooner. I have real regrets for opportunities I probably missed out on because I just didn't care. And I really wish I'd taken more advantage of the time I had to learn.
Oh and I was in a band...it was called Slackers. ;)
a band called the Slackers! That is hilarious!!!
Deleteeven though I was a nerd, I have to admit I didn't 'get it' until much later in life either- I didn't really learn how to be a student until college! (more on that to come!)
If I did "just enough to get A's" does that make me a slacker? No? Well, Nerds FTW I guess. :)
ReplyDeleteLOL yep. It's a tough life we have :)
DeleteI love your Dad's advice, especially the last couple sentences! I tell my kids, "You'll thank me someday." Sometimes what helps me persevere in this area, is knowing that I see more for my kids than they see for themselves. What really helps is being blessed with other adults in their lives who also talk to them and give them a vision of what's possible. I love the before/after pics of your Dad. Reminds me of my husband and myself.
ReplyDeleteI will probably have to print and frame that statement when they get to be teenagers- have it always before my eyes: THEY WILL THANK YOU SOMEDAY!
DeleteI hate being the pushy parent! I think I'm going to have to get over that though!
I love the pictures too :) It is especially fun to show them to my kids and hear "THAT"S GRANDPA!?!!!!"
DeleteGood advice, Tom.
ReplyDeleteI always told my kids “Wait till you have your own.” Our younger son with five kids, often will bring that up in our phone conversations.
Yes, there is so much more I 'get' now that i have my own! Including why parents get so tired at night!!!
DeleteRight now we're at the "He'll hate it, you'll hate it" stage. It's so hard. Yesterday I shed a few tears with my son because both of us were so frustrated. I think it was a break through of kinds for both of us. Neither of us wants to see him stay stuck where he is.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much to your dad for sharing his wisdom and advice.
I hate HATE being the bad guy. I want there to be PEACE between me and my babies. It is so hard to accept that that is not always the way it will be- that I might even have to allow/create the conflict out of love for them! Prayers for you, Jenny..
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