"all in" today

Today started joyfully, 
with dogs wagging in a foggy sunrise
and I am here to see it
and to give thanks. 

The Lord is on His throne; and today is another day.
He is (slowly) making all things new
He is (slowly) repairing, redeeming, restoring this broken place where I live. 

And I am here.
I am not God. 
And I am not nothing. 

I am here, resolutely here, 
with a desire to be right-sized as his child, 
and still, to show up hard, to be fervently present
for all He has before me. 

Why would I not be all in?
What could “all in” look like today?

Will it be one of my favorites? 
Standing open-armed on the porch, every nerve ending receptive to the whipping wind as a thunderstorm rolls in
or laying on my back on the picnic table at sunset watching the clouds blow by
or car-dancing at a stoplight?

Maybe house cleaning with zeal and with friends
like Alanis Morisette and Mariah Carey
ponytail and sweat
who cares if the neighbors can hear
(or if my father-in law walks in, in the middle of a the kitchen chorus) 

Perhaps He will call for a silent “all in”
and give me a seat next to grief, 
incapable of healing
but capable of solidarity and compassion in the hard waiting

Trusting that God is “all in” where the brokenhearted are, 
that his incarnation, death, and resurrection 
are proof of His “all in” love for broken mankind, 
including this one.

Whatever it is, I’ll be here for it.

Lord, help me 
step off all my sidetracks,
discern distractions,
and to once again
open ears, heart, eyes to You.


 


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