It doesn’t happen often anymore, but I did it last week:
I picked up a sleeping baby.
I was tired, and there were still a thousand things on my list, but I quit. The complaints of things left undone in my home were drowned out by my own loud thoughts: children growing, milestones whizzing by, lightning quick changes all around me.
My snoring baby didn’t need me. I picked him up anyway, and we rocked while he snored.
Birth pains are nothing compared to growth pains.
Oh God, these children! They bloom, just as they should; they grow, just as You will. How can something so wonderful be so sad? Tonight I feel so heavily the ache of the never-agains.
I know, God, I know you are changing me. I know the ache of the never-again will melt into a gratitude for having had at all. I am only dragging my feet as you lead me towards peace.
It will happen. But right now, I sit heavy with memories, and I linger in the rocking chair.