I am not my Van. (On caring for the body)

Moby, our old van

I get in the van, turn the key, and expect it to GO.

It should go. Vans should work. That’s what they are for, and I expect them to do that.

Now, sometimes my van breaks. And when it does, I am highly irritated and inconvenienced. So what do I do? Do I learn how it works so that I can figure out what is wrong with it and fix it?

No. I tell my husband. He fixes it.

Sometimes, he tries to explain to me what was wrong with it, and I try to listen, sort of, but my mind just hears a bunch of uninteresting words:

I don’t care to know how the van works. I just want it to work. And when it doesn't work, I will ask my husband to fix it, or pay for a mechanic if all else fails (and it rarely does.)

I don’t care how it works, I just want it to work. 

I’m told it needs regular maintenance too, but I don’t really know when or what, because my husband does that.  And the van goes.

I act the same way with my body.

My body should GO. I have important places to be today, and I need my body to get me there. I will fuel it with whatever fuel sounds good to me, and I will expect it to just keep going. 

I don’t want to be bothered to learn how it works, to care for it, to bow to some silly maintenance schedule.

And then, my body starts to complain. Personally, my complaints have come in the form of weight gain, mood swings,  bad skin, and irritability. My body hints, then complains, then screams at me to change my ways. But I really don’t want to stop moving and take the time to listen.

But my body is not like my van. I can’t just use and abuse it and then ask someone else to fix it.

(Well, I can, actually, but that's probably not the best choice.)

It might be worth taking the time to learn about it. 

My van is replaceable, but my body is not.

This is hard and humbling because I should know this stuff already. I should have learned these healthy things and made these healthy changes years and years ago. How can I take time out of my life to do this, now?

How can I not?

My body is not replaceable.

And I think about what I’m doing: expecting my body to run smoothly while at the same time giving it little or no attention. What would it be like if I did that with my house? What if I approached homemaking this way- winging it, getting things done as quickly I can with as little attention as possible, refusing to bow to any kind of maintenance schedule or routine?

It would all fall apart. Fast. 

Three kids ago, this is exactly what was happening, which is why I finally started to listen to flylady and it changed my life, saved my sanity, and helped me to make a home for my family.

And my body is an even more complicated system then my household.

It is fearfully and wonderfully made, in fact.

When I was drowning in the tasks of running a house, I thought about housework all the time, did it all the time, and yet still felt completely out of control and overwhelmed.  Now, what if, instead of learning a system, I simply tried to think about housework less, and hoped that solved the problem?

It's crazy, right?
But this is what I do to my body when it complains.

I think about food too much, whether it’s what I want to eat, what I am eating, what I shouldn't eat, or what I can’t eat. This is true of me when I am being lazy and when I am on a health kick. 

I think about food too much.

I think this is one of my body’s complaints, actually. The cravings, the restlessness, and the constantly being unsatisfied: these things are going on for a reason. And I haven’t wanted to take the time to figure out why. 

I’d like to think about food less often, but I can’t do that without addressing my body’s complaints. I can’t just force myself to be less hungry. I have to take the time to learn how a body works. That means learning about the proper fuel, the emotional and spiritual issues, and a maintenance schedule for soul and body that will keep my whole self working properly.

2021 update

I have certainly not "arrived" in this area, but I have learned some things, and I am dusting off some of these old blog posts to help me as I jump into revisiting these topics with my children.

Caring for a body is complicated. Maintenance of SELF is complicated-- but so important!

Join me in this conversation: What kind of maintenance does a human need to flourish? What IS health? 

originally published 1/2013

tired but alive

That look on Seth’s face; it’s the same one Josh had that time we rented four wheelers and he took me on those trails that were MUCH more intense than either of us expected… that edge-of-danger sparkle, “can’t you feel it? we’re ALIIIIVE!” And his motor roared and off he went, and I wondered for how long will he be alive with a wild spirit like that one?  I followed as fast as I could and prayed all the way.

Today, I watched my son come alive in the same way on the mountain bike trails.

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My legs shake and I just got hit in the face with a branch, but I plow forward on my bike, trying to keep up with him.  The trails are tricky and we have to focus; no chatting, no looking up at the trees.  Dodge that tree, jump over that root, try not to fall off the narrow bridge. It’s all balance and muscle and timing.  I only fell once, and he only laughed a little.

With a sore wrist and behind, I push on and stay cheerful. It’s like i’m trying to prove something, and I suppose I am. I’ve still got it. I’m not ready to surrender this body to slowness;  I want to push through, to sweat myself strong, to be a fit mama and a fun mama.  When my kids find things that make them come alive, I want them to show me, really show me, for as long as it’s possible.  

He showed me; conquering those trails at a rate I didn’t dare: doing stunts and riding on balance beams and makeshift stairs.  I slowly did the stairs, but I drew the line at the balance beams. A broken arm wouldn’t fit well with my schedule. I am still amazing, but I withhold some amazing feats that might have happened for the sake of prudence. (Adulthood can be so lame!)

I can feel it coming: the need for a nap. “Ok guys, if we stay longer, that means when we go home you’re fending for yourselves for dinner while I take a nap.” They are happy to consent, and I am happy that my legs have a good rest to look forward to.

We stop conquering the world for a moment to sit by the river.  I am the first one to free my feet from shoes and cool them in the lake; this gives them all permission and they quickly follow.  The one who always takes any fun farther than the rest is soon skipping rocks and painting himself with mud.  The cool water, the shade, the breeze, and the soothing gurgle of the river: we take it all in.  

“I survived many a summer this way,” I tell them. I remember watching toddlers play in the lawn, and sitting my pregnant body down with my feet in a bucket of ice cold water, feeling it cool me and giving me hope I could make it through another summer day.  Green grass, a healthy garden, and loud little kids- life, everywhere, including in a giant wiggling ball on my lap.  That was certainly another way to “feel alive!” Tired, yes, but alive.

Now with my feet up in a chair at home, I trace over the edges of the gifts God has given us today.  I’m tired, yes, but alive, and grateful for this day that bursts with life.

"The Spirit of God has made me, And the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” Job 33:4

“You alone are the LORD You have made the heavens, The heaven of heavens with all their host, The earth and all that is on it, The seas and all that is in them You give life to all of them And the heavenly host bows down before You.” Neh 9:6

Wonderfully Made (Guest post by Angie Durnil)

Today, Angie Durnil joins us again- read on for some inspiration, weak and lovely ladies!

Wonderfully Made

Spring has sprung and with it the vibrant colors of my rose bush. Every year since I have planted the roses, I anxiously await their arrival. The bright fuchsia blossoms against the green leaves are so pretty and refreshing after the dull winter has passed. I welcomed the spring rains and warm weather early this year after the long, cold winter that has chilled even my spirit.

I didn't prune the bushes last fall. Instead I left the bare stems as a reminder of what will be, once the weather breaks. Now, the bushes have grown taller than me and very full, so much so, that I have had to tie them up to keep them from falling to the ground because they are so heavy with flower buds. The blossoms are exploding with color and it warms me to see God's creation.

God didn't just create the things in nature to behold. He also created each and every human, in His own likeness. He used just as much finesse in creating us as he created the plants and trees around us. So, why is it easier to marvel at the beauty in nature, than in our own selves? Why is it acceptable to stare in total amazement at the green grass, rolling hills, flowers and trees and see the beauty, and call it what it is; but stare in the mirror in disgust or contempt because things just don't look right? God made me for a purpose, and it may not be to win a beauty pageant, but He didn't take any less time to make me than He took to make the beauty queen.

Matthew 6:25-26 tells it beautifully. "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"

Sin clouds our eyes with discontent and makes our minds distrust what is true and good. Instead we try to convince ourselves that we need to lose more weight, we need more makeup, we need more exercise or product or accessories. We tend to forget, that God created man and woman naked, and without diets and exercise equipment, and they were happy, that is, until Satan stepped in.

Much like Satan attacks me, the caterpillars have attacked my roses. So I have to protect them with Sevin or chili powder and garlic spray. The roses also have thorns to deter animals from munching on their leaves. My natural defenses are more awesome than chemicals. Whenever the lies fill my head, I turn to God, either in scripture or prayer. He tells me the truth and frees me from Satan. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Pray for strength and wisdom in your struggles to be healthy, but don’t give up.  That’s what Satan wants.  Instead, honor your body with good food choices and exercise.  It helps me to remember that God made me too, just as he carefully crafted the roses. If He cares for flowers that much, imagine the love and compassion He has for me!  This creation should not be my undoing.   It's time to stop listening to the lies that Satan is telling me. I need to remember God's word that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and start believing the truth.

Fearfully and wonderfully made.

These.

And you.

(This post is part of a series on living Weak and Lovely)

Sing it to the children!

Fearfully and wonderfully made, we are, and so are our children. Here are a few of our favorite songs on the topic. Yes, they are cheesy, and the videos are hilarious, but the words are beautiful: sing them to your children, let them soak deep down into their little hearts!

You knit me together

 I'm so wonderfully made

Coloring page: I'm so Wonderfully Made by the Donut Man

What a miracle

What are your favorite songs for kiddos?

Our Theme, Writ Large

I need reminders, big ones.  I have such a tendency to barrel through the day, getting stuff done, and I forget to pray, or to focus on the important things until the end of the day.  And that's no way to live.

I love words.

Why not put them everywhere?

So, I enlisted some help...

Shirtless boys are great helpers.

Or something.

We painted.

And I ran upstairs for paper towels and my camera, and I said to my husband, 

"What was I thinking, trying to paint with kids this age?"

But then, I saw this, and I remembered. 

Remind yourself, and your little ones, that you are wonderfully made this week!

Make a poster, hang it by your sink, pack a note in your child's lunch!

If you do this, I'd love to see your pictures!