the one where I spill..

the biggest reason it is hard to share her story.

Yes, she's been seizure-free for more than two years.
In some ways that year seems like a trial that happened a very long time ago.

Theoretically, I could be that wise mother who had an awful experience, who is now strong and healthy and ready to share her hard-earned wisdom with you.

But then, she gets tired, and there are circles around her eyes, and I remember.
We could go back there.
Any second.

One little seizure could bring us right back to that place.

One little cell left behind could be forming an aggressive tumor.

She could return to weakness.

And if she does, I will return to weakness with her.

If you've read my book, then you know I mean that. And you'll know why that terrifies me.

There is no super strength. No tried and true strategy. No secret Scripture that has immunized me against suffering.

So I guess I better tell you right now--

because if she goes back there, you'll be watching--

I might disappear for awhile.

I'll probably be tempted with despair, anger, addiction, depression.

And I'll have nothing good to say to you about any of that.

Unless, of course, He helps.

I guess all I can do it bank on that.

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, 

   for in you my soul takes refuge; 

in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, 

   till the storms of destruction pass by 

(Psalm 57:1)
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Weak and Loved: A Mother-Daughter Love Story by Emily Cook Now available on Amazon.com $9.99 kindle $4.99epub $4.99