sitting in discomfort

 “I was to sit quietly when in doubt”   (Bill’s story, AA Big book p 13)

Sitting in discomfort, allowing what is imperfect right now to just BE has been one of the most difficult and most important skills I have had to learn in recovery.

How often did I reach for the food to stuff down an annoying emotion, to comfort myself over a situation I couldn’t control, to distract myself from a hard situation? Food did not fix it. Not even one time. And yet it took me so long (YEARS) to really learn and believe and act on this truth.
FOOD WILL NOT FIX IT.

Life is full of hard situations, discomfort, pain, uncertainty. These have not gone away in recovery. Yet, I am learning to STAY PRESENT in them, to be still and know that I am NOT God.

Can it really be ok if I am not God, if I am not in control, if I have to feel the way I feel right now, if life is as messy and broken as it seems at this moment? It can be, if He is with me; If he is making all things new, as Jesus said (Rev 21:5)

Here are some of my anchoring quotes for those (many!) moments that I still wrestle with discomfort.
-It takes the time it takes
-you have permission to do one thing at a time
-into your hands i commend myself
-God is enough
-Be still and know that He is God
-Notice what is happening. Make space for it. Invite Jesus in.

- “there is a boundaryless generosity pouring itself out in the intimate immediacy of this very moment.” (J Finley)

-”the infinite presence of God is presencing itself, pouring itself out, giving itself away whole and complete, in and as the gift and the miracle of our very presence, the gift and the miracle of others, the gift and the miracle of all things.”

“only save me from myself. save me from my own private, poisonous urge to change everything, to unsettle everything you have ordained. Let me rest in your will and be silent.” (Thomas Merton)