I am here to remember….
the laughter during the game
when my mom’s terrible poker face sold her out
and everybody saw her sneak
and my dad laugh so hard his eyes disappeared
and he had to wipe away a tear
and the way dad looked sleeping on our couch
with his hand on the remote
and fox news prattling on
cozy under Aggie’s blue royal robe
the cloak, that makes her look homeschooled
I am here to remember walking with mom
and how the girls ate snow and got in silly fights
and how it was when we were still all together.
and that its OK to love them and then release them like a balloon into the sky
I am here to remember the moment
that I saw my dad as a person, a friend,
a guy with a whole big life that I know little about
with heartaches and private struggles
and hurt feelings, and a walk with God that he holds close to his chest
I am here to remember the awkward offer to help with college
love trying to give wisely, but none of us really knowing what that looks like yet
and this sweet gestured tied in my mind to my own “car payment” singular
and the dog they gave Amy that ended up being mom’s
and how gifts don’t always come with expected outcomes.
I am here to remember that they came,
they came down for a visit during a pandemic
they came through snow and blowing anxieties
they came even though they were on the vaccine list and could be called at any time
they came, they risked, they loved.
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