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Soul and body are not separate issues. They are tangled together, in a wonderful, exhausting, beautiful, frustrating mystery.
I've been exploring this in my own head and heart, and because I can't help it, I've been exploring it in writing. Now, I'd like to explore these things with you, here on the blog.
Don't worry, this blog will not turn into a health or food blog. There are others who do that job wonderfully. I cannot see myself as any kind of expert in the realm of food, except eating it.
But God is working on me, and my conscience is nagging at me, and I am uncomfortable.
So let us begin with a half-hearted prayer (because it's all I have!)
Father, it’s about time I have prayed this prayer.
I've put
it off for a long time. It’s stupid really, but I guess this weakness is one I
have not wanted to admit. Or, maybe I have wanted to overcome it on my own, or maybe I don't really wanted to overcome it at all. Contrition, resolve, denial, failure, guilt, and more denial- these things I know full well. And I wonder if the cycle will ever end. It's time to confess it all.
I confess my addictions to food and drink; my reliance on what I consume instead of you. I do this all the time. I am selfishly and stupidly trying to fill myself, comfort and encourage myself, with good edible things… to the point of my harm and my shame.
I cannot free myself from my sinful condition.
I cannot overcome this. I can’t even want to most of the
time.
If this sin is going to die in me, You are going to have to
fight it. You are going to have to hold my hand and walk with me and fight for
me and in me and with me.
Ok… I’m ready.
Wait, no. I’m not ready, not really.
But I have a tiny bit of want-to in me, and today I’m daring to say it- I want You to help me with this, Father.
But I have a tiny bit of want-to in me, and today I’m daring to say it- I want You to help me with this, Father.
Forgive me in the name of Jesus. Cleanse me from this unrighteousness, from idolatry and slavery.
Teach me to see your gifts rightly, to receive them with
thanksgiving, but not to rely on them to fill what only You can. Teach me self-control and gratitude.
Teach me to see my body as you do-- Your blessed creation,
meant to be cared-for and enjoyed.
Into your hands I commend myself.
Amen.
I wish that were the end of it: a simple prayer, a change of perspective like turning on a light bulb, and then, POW! easy victory. But it is a mere beginning of a journey.
Are you coming along?
Now, I'd like to hear from you:
Are you coming along?
Now, I'd like to hear from you:
What are you praying for?
Do you struggle with the want-to?
And, have you been drinking your water?
This week's challenge: Pray, daily, and honestly, about your health and your body,
and ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you.
This week's challenge: Pray, daily, and honestly, about your health and your body,
and ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you.
LOVE your prayer! Honest and precious! This is the cry of my heart too!
ReplyDeleteThanks Beth! :) Glad you are coming along with us!
DeleteYes, I do drink my water. My goal is 140 oz but I'm only hitting about 100 oz. I struggle with food on different levels. I have been poor before and food was hard to get for a while. Even what we had was not what some people considered...food. A can of green beans for supper, or potatoes and gravy were livin' the high life. I once made a can of tuna last 3 days, no mayo, celery or pickles. Flat tuna from the can. So often at the root of my issues is a fear that tomorrow there will be no food. The other side of the issue is a sense of entitlement. We can't afford vacations. We don't drive an expensive car. So if I want cake and ice cream, I should not have to discipline myself.
ReplyDeleteMy goal is to regain health. I'm a cancer warrior, hypertensive, & diabetic. I'm not able to pay for all these prescriptions, so I need to get healthier and get off them.
I can imagine that your past does play quite a role in your eating habits and how you see food- "eat it while it's here, while you can!" must be a common feeling for you.
DeleteFunny, because it is for me too, though I've never delt with any kind of deprivation... but even thinking about dieting makes me hungry, and eat faster, like someone is going to come steal my fries away... I"m pretty sure there's less fear and more entitlement in my attitude though.
One day at a time!
These are not easy words to share publicly, let alone implement privately! I remember the day I said that prayer...and meant it. About 7 years ago. It was a revelation to me to admit my "addiction" and my foolish heart for turning to the temporary instead of the Eternal!
ReplyDeleteI am there with you on this road. Though I truly did repent of the addiction and change the way I felt and responded with food, my body bears the scars od 30 years of abuse. This year I have committed to God to get healthy. the goal is 75 pounds but MORE than that, it is to look at healthy eating as a lifestyle....not to be stopped once I reach a magical number on a scale. I know he gives strength and grace to do all things, so this is just another one.
Looking forward to the journey with you!
Donna, you are absolutely right. This is why these words have been sitting on my computer for many months! :)
DeleteI think repentance is a daily thing, as exhausting as that sounds. I'd much rather 'surrender' once and then have nothing but victory after that, but i just don't think how our bodies are, or how our sinful nature works! However, we can learn habits that make it easier, that lessen the cravings, and that remind us to turn to God for help with this!
Glad you are journeying along with us!
Amen.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing such a beautiful and honest prayer.
It can be really challenging to lose weight; however, not a lot of people turn to God for this problem, thinking that it's too trivial to pray for. But as for me, I want God to be a part of every facet of my life--dieting and losing weight included.
Thanks again!
YES. It is too trivial... and also, I think I really should be able to handle this on my own. I mean, really, a cookie can kick my butt? How pathetic is that? Am i really that selfish and sinful to choose a candy bar over health, again and again and again?
DeleteUm, yes. I am. God help me! :)
One day at a time!