“I don’t know how you balance it all,” they say.
“Why in the world do they think I am balanced!?” I wonder for a moment, but I don’t have time to say it, or even think it for long because someone is pounding on the pew, and someone else wants a snack, and I have to figure out how to get us all to the car and what to give as a consequence for the next fight.
Dear friends, I am unbalanced in so many ways. Here’s one:
I like to get things done, and there is nothing wrong with that. It feels good to get one thing done in a half hour, but it can feel better to do two. Then,I think, why not three or four or five? Or I could do two things, while also planning the next two things, and then the next chunk of time will be even MORE efficient.
Is there a name for this form of insanity?
Productivity Addiction? TMultitasking Mania? Energizer Bunny Disease?
Suddenly, I find myself unable to do just one thing at a time. I am the mom texting at the park to plan the next activities, or getting up from the table the second I’m done eating, and answering all the school questions as as fast as possible so that I can ever-so-quickly get on to the next urgent thing.
My whole perspective becomes tainted with impatience.
“Nobody’s moving fast enough!”
“Get ON with it already!”
and
“Can’t you all see how much there is to DO around here?”
Who has time for rest, for humor, or for seeing the gifts of the little moments?
I don't want to be that person! And furthermore, I really can’t stop ALL the multi-tasking. My family needs me to juggle many things. But surely, I can do SOME things with a single mind? Like, five minute sprints of focus, just to start?
I’m trying something this week, and I thought I’d share it with you.
Just this.
A simple phrase.
I wrote it on a sticky note when I graded a paper, and it reminded me to JUST grade the paper, not think of other papers, or the other kids, or the dinner plans, or the emails. One thing at a time.
I’m going to try to use this throughout the day, even in the midst of school. I can’t use it ALL the time (I may have to teach math and anger management and handwriting all at once,) but SOME of the time.
And I’m going to use this ninja focus for ME, sometimes. Even (God help me!) when there are still other things on the to-do list. When it doesn’t feel efficient.
Just this.
A few minutes to “ come in and out of the wind.”
To get some perspective, read some Scripture, notice blessings, and give thanks.
To remove my nose from its place against the tree and let God show me the forest again.
Friends who understand, pray with me?
Father,
We know we are not loved based on what we do. At least, we say we know. But how to be simply “okay,” not based on the things accomplished, but in You alone? We know that productivity is a slave driver, and we will never find rest listening to its demands. And yet, we know we must work while it is day, and we do want to pour ourselves out here for others. Give us wisdom in both pouring and resting. Teach us to come in out of the wind. May Your love be our refuge. In Jesus, Amen.
