these days (4)

These are the days...

Of dogs sleeping by the fireplace like furry kindred spirits, exhausted from the noise and barking of little boys.

Of hosting my millionth sleepover, but it’s the little ones very first, and I get to rock their worlds with homemade nachos and cheese and milkshakes.

Of teenage girls giggling, sneaking hidden candy in the girls’ bedroom and talking about crushes while perfecting secret handshakes.

Of last minute deadlines (“I promise I’ll plan ahead next time”) and late-night Coke so the kid can finish those final pages; and “Mom can you help me with Algebra?” so I try but oh those wheels turn slowly when you haven’t used them in 20 years.  These are the days of little boys asking “How many steps do you have today?” and helping me meet my goal- sometimes, by dancing with me, or rollerblading, sometimes, by stealing my fitbit and running around the house taking turns until they have earned 25,000 steps or more!

These are the days of fighting over who gets to sit in front and “what can I feed them for second dinner?” and last minute birthday gifts for friends. These days the younger two will do extra chores for a gumball, but the older kids expect actual dollars, slurpees, or technology privileges. These days they go to bed when they get tired and if I’m too tired to tuck them in, they tuck me in instead and they remember to turn out the lights.  But they still ask me to kiss them goodnight and I do it because there’s a last time for everything and this might be it.

These are days of mom on repeat: Did you practice your piano and brush your teeth and did someone feed the dogs?  And can you bring me my phone to work because I forgot it again, or my oatmeal, or my charger? And they laugh because adulting is hard and even mom doesn’t have it figured out, but we work as a team and somehow we hobble along and everyone gets where they need to be. These days are peppered with fighting and fun, and these days end with prayers and forgiveness and grace and exhaustion.

These are the days of praying he can make it through one more meeting;  of trying to stay up until he gets home so he can have someone to lean on, and not always making it. These are the days of 5:15 am alarms and bleary-eyed family devotions and opening the ECC and trying to be cheerful before I’ve finished my first cup of coffee.  These are the days of scheduling family time for hospital visits and funerals; of being emptied all the way out and miraculously filled again by His Body broken and given for us like water in the desert.

These are the days of trying to keep a soft heart in a world that feels like concrete and cynicism and bitterness; of keeping my eyes peeled for hope and growth, and God asking us to trust even if we can’t see Him working.  These are the days of praying for a weary pastor-heart while thanking God that he can meet me for lunch and we still love talking about books we’re reading and Big Ideas.

These are the days of winter isolation and longing for connection; of gratitude that the internet can connect hearts of friends across distance.

These are the days of important conversations along the way, of pouring into their minds and praying they learn to think critically and guard against evil and falsehood. These are the days of discussing quotes and literature at the dinner table, and marvelling at the growth in their minds for about 2 seconds, and then someone farts or spills and even the oldest thinks farts are funny.

These are the days of blasting “Just Dance” in the living room; of loud piano, flute, and trombones blaring; of trying hard to find a quiet place to practice multiplication tables or spelling words; of wondering if it’s all too much for them, for me! When out of the blue somebody starts praying that we have another baby and you realize you’ve passed on a crazy affinity for loud messy big love.

These are the days of asking Siri “What does this food do for my body?” and trying to care about the answer.  These are the days when the scary flu virus is going around; daddy tells them at the dinner table how some even healthy kids have died from it; and the littlest one suddenly has a sore throat and a desperate need for a hug.

These are the days when we remember our times are in God’s hands, and when we pray with a little extra desperation “Guide us waking, O Lord, and guard us sleeping, that awake we may watch with Christ, and asleep we may rest in peace.”

The battle is too big for you. Be still.

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:14

What does this mean?  Is this one we can apply to ourselves or only the specific biblical context situation?  Or maybe ourselves sometimes?

I got this question from a friend, and I jokingly replied, “I think I’m just going to be still and let God answer that question for me.”

Honestly, I would love the permission to use this one whenever I felt like it. Political conversation that makes me uncomfortable? Sorry, I’m too busy being still to engage.  Laundry needs to be done? Nope, I need to be still.  Kids screaming at each other?  I’ll let God sort it out while I read my Bible.

Alas, this Scripture is not meant to be a trump card to use in the battles we’d rather not fight.

---

It is never wise to pull one verse out of Scripture and examine it alone. So what’s the context?

Moses is leading the Israelites away from the Egyptians. All looks to be lost: their backs are up against the Red Sea, they are outnumbered, vulnerable, and they see no way out.

There have been battles that simply end at this point; sometimes, God does allow the enemy temporal victories, and the Christian is called to simply be slaughtered and yet still trust.  Sometimes, we must actively fight evil to stop its spread, and God is pleased with those who defend the weak.  (Thank you, veterans, police officers, brave souls of all kinds who God uses to stem the flood of evil in this place).

But in this case, God did something different.  God brought His people to the end of themselves: to that place where it was obvious there was NO hope in salvation coming from their own two hands.  And then, God did a miracle. He intervened when it was impossible, and He rescued His people.

Surely there was a moment when that word of hope from Moses seemed too incredible to believe. Those are nice sounding words Moses, but do you see their chariots? Look how sharp are the swords! Do you see the rage in the eyes of our enemies? They will delight in tearing us apart! They are coming, and we are defenseless!

And then, the miracle. God parted the seas, and they walked through on dry ground.

Feet stepping on dry ground where water had been only moments before... can you imagine the wonder they felt? The amazement and fear, the utter certainty that this rescue was NOT of their own doing but a work of the God of the universe!

And after God did this thing, His people rejoiced and sang. Hear the words of Moses:

“I will sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously;
   the horse and his rider he has thrown into the sea.
The Lord is my strength and my song,
   and he has become my salvation;
this is my God, and I will praise him,
   my father's God, and I will exalt him.” (Exodus 15)

Salvation at the hand of God- truly this is a marvelous thing! And the glory of God is brighter in our eyes  when we have seen our own helplessness, when we have despaired of creating safety with our own two hands. This miraculous rescue of God’s people from the Egyptians is meant to give us cause for rejoicing and trust as well, because it is a foreshadowing of the same work that God is doing for us today.

Be still. The battle is too big for you. The Lord will fight for you in the most important battle you wage: the battle with sin, death, and the devil.  Have you tried fighting this battle on your own? Have you seen the futility of your own efforts? Despair of your resources and look to Jesus! Without the miraculous intervention of our God, we would be surrounded and overcome; slaughtered with glee by our enemies.   But our God does not leave us in this place.

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. (Col 1:13)

He has won for us the biggest and most impossible battle in His death and resurrection.   We are in-between times: we hear the word of promise and victory, and yet we see the glint of the sword, we feel the gunshot wounds from the enemy.   We come up against our own powerlessness and we have reason to fear.   But even today, in the fight against the evil our God invites us to be still.

Stillness is not necessarily inactivity. The Israelites had to walk across the dry ground!  But the spirit with which they walked must have been so different than the spirit with which they sharpened their own swords in fearful defiance of the enemy they still hoped to defeat.  They no longer cried out in terror to Moses, but they walked forward in wonder and in trust, confident in the mighty hand of God, strong to save.

It’s is the word of God’s miraculous hand that gives us stillness of heart, even as the battle still rages.  Step forward, hold fast to His Word, and Let God make your heart still.

The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. (2 Tim 4:18)

Rejoice with Zecharaiah:

“Blessed be the Lord God of Israel,
   for he has visited and redeemed his people... to grant us
 that we, being delivered from the hand of our enemies,
might serve him without fear,
   in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.
And you, child, will be called the prophet of the Most High;
   for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways,
to give knowledge of salvation to his people
   in the forgiveness of their sins,
because of the tender mercy of our God,
   whereby the sunrise shall visit us from on high
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
   to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

Why we love Wittenberg Academy

We have entered into a new era: we now have a daughter in High School!  And for us, high school is happening in an unconventional way. We are not bussing her to the Lutheran school up north, nor are we sending her to the nice public school down the road. Instead, she is enrolled in Wittenberg Academy, a classical online Lutheran High School. Yes, this is weird, and we have received plenty of odd looks, criticism, and questions about this decision.  We agonized before we decided, and then we stepped forward, and now, here we are- and it is a tremendous blessing to be here. For those of you who are wondering what this is like, I thought I’d give a little glimpse. Please note, I am not implying this is the right decision for everyone!  I am just sharing the good things we have discovered along this path.

Time management
She is responsible for managing her time, meeting deadlines, and spreading out her work in a way that is productive and yet does not make her crazy.  She has learned that she works better with music than with silence, that she likes to get things done in the morning, and that taking breaks helps her organize her thoughts.

She has time!
My teenager has time to breathe and to be a kid! She has time to craft, to play with her siblings, to read just for fun, to try out new recipes for fudge and cookies. We go for walks in the afternoon, we play volleyball, 

Extra-curriculars
Lorraine wants to be a teacher, so she helps out at the preschool and school quite often as a volunteer.  She also babysits and tutors.  She is part of the adult handbell choir and she plays pick-up volleyball weekly.

Travel
In November, Lorraine went to Florida with her grandparents to work with Samaritan’s Purse for hurricane relief. She’s going to Texas next month for the same reason.  Her flexible schedule gives her the freedom to do amazing things like this- you can read about it here!  http://www.weakandloved.com/2017/11/hurricane-relief.html

*The Curriculum*
She’s taking logic, and she’s pointing out fallacies on the news and in conversations all the time now. She learned a whole year’s worth of geometry in 12 weeks! She is now delving deeply into Algebra.  And then there’s the constant required class: Paideia. Webster’s defines this as the “training of the physical and mental faculties in such a way as to produce a broad enlightened mature outlook harmoniously combined with maximum cultural development.”  That’s pretty heavy stuff, and yet my daughter will wake up and say “YES! It’s Paideia day!” with a little dance because she loves this live class so much. She’s reading the Iliad and Scripture and Thucydides and Herodotus and wonderful primary sources, and it makes me wish I could go back to school and do it all with her.
It wasn’t until I went to college that I learned to love learning for the right reasons: not to receive a shiny collection of As and gold stars, but to know and appreciate what is good and true and beautiful in the world. This pursuit is the mission of this high school, and her teachers encourage her in this direction. 

Are there down sides?
Lorraine says: No snow days! (She had to “go to school” and I had to go work last friday when everyone else stayed home and enjoyed a day off!)  Also, “I don’t get to see my friends in person every single day. But I don’t feel like I am missing out on a social life- I have friends here.”

I could also make a list of things we are happy to be missing that are part of the other choices, like commuting and “teenage culture” and more, but I’ll stick to the positive today.  A final word from my mommy-heart: it is almost surreal to me, to have afternoons with JUST my big kid most days.  We get to shop together, to go on walks and talk about things we’re reading and plans for the future. I love being able to stay close to her as she blooms in this season of her life!  


If you’d like more info, visit wittenbergacademy.org and feel free to talk to me or Lorraine about it any time!